Category Archives: Dreams

All the pizza, so much pizza in my dream.  But before that there was a Kat and she was hanging out with me and a couple friends and we were comparing stuff between here and Australia, and she started running her nails over my back so I ended up plopping on the bed in the room starting to space out while she kept scratching my back and continuing a conversation with someone else about secret santa / white elephant gifts and how they work.

Then I was waking outside in some courtyard and there were people attending some outside wedding and the bride and groom had just died but idk how, and I was walking through retail space with David and some other peeps and he kept looking at businesses as we walked by saying how he didn’t wanna be outdone if we got married, like he knew the other party, and I stopped walking and said I had an idea and remembered what my black hat friends said about seeing a wedding party at a Brazillian steak house (but that was Jorna irl) and they kept walking so I was all whatevs and started walking and peeps were sitting at these tables and there were so many pizzas, so I grabbed a few slices of pepperoni and sat down next to Brandon while he talked about how he met Kat in the mountains in Colorado and how it was a small world and the lady across from him asked if he wanted this quesadilla and he said no, then she offered it to me and someone else at the table and then he said he’d eat it. The end. ._.

My sleep schedules admittedly a little jacked right now so I just woke up from an afternoon nap where it was the middle of the night and my car flooded in Mesa with me in it.  I was driving on a side street when it started to sprinkle and I made a left turn into a main road where I watched a truck pulling a trailer cross the intersection I planned on heading to barely cross. He went north to south when I was going west to east, but I was going super slow trying to decide if I could make it in the left lane since the water was a little high on the right, or see if I could safely u-turn then try to figure out what to do from there.  Then this huge wave of water came from the east and hit my car as I was turning around and it filled with water to my chin and I started panicking over idiot laws wondering if this counted, but how could it when I didn’t drive into deep water or down a road that dips.. there was no way to avoid this.  And then I calmed down a second later and thought well, the car and cell phone are gone.. anything in here with me is gone, but how do I get out and not die?

And then I woke up in a room in the dark I didn’t recognize (but guess was mine in the dream?) and pushed a lottk spot in the blinds to see a large truck out the window and it looked like a UPS truck except larger and unmarked.  Nearby on the sidewalk was a man in riot gear and I noticed a red glow, it was coming from th red dot off his rifle.  So I immediately got away from the window and noticed that red glow moving around my window wondering if they were going to open fire thinking they had a high enough probability of a hit.  I waked out of the room, went to the bathroom and used this cinnamon sugar scrub and took a sponge bath.  There was some rectangular bump in my lower back like something had been implanted and I couldn’t tell wtf it was when I felt it, and tried really hard to remember someone talking about a similar implant they had and couldn’t identify, but I can’t remember who mentioned it.  Then I rinsed off, got dressed, and walked to the front room and sat by the and window (now it was ground level when earlier it was upstairs) and some Korean dude my mom was talking to was sitting on the other side in the ledge and waved at me and I was all hi? I guess he was a new neighbor or something.  We were all at a restaurant and mom worked there but was eating and the guy wanted to show me something and brought me to the back of the kitchen where it was huge and there was an outside seating area that was closed off.

I overslept a little and am still a little bit tired.  I just remember this part of this morning’s dream where I was sharing a room and a bed with a friend (not sure if this was for a convention or work related thing or a scene thing) and was facing my side of the bed to be all respectful but he ended up trying to start something and I was so conflicted cause I couldn’t remember if he still had a gf or not, and then remembered his gf was Mony and we’re friends and I was all uhhh.. are they still dating? Did they break up?  If they’re still dating we need her blessing on this.  Even my dreams get complicated. *sigh*

In today’s dream I had a little dog.  Similar to Ragnar but his fur wasn’t as bright.. maybe a lil more brown and white ish.  I was passing out in bed and the puppy was snuggled up in my right arm taking a nap.  I’m writing this so late in the day I can’t remember what else happened, and I know a lot of other stuff did.  But whatevs, there was a dog. 😀

I was laying in bed in the master bedroom of the house I grew up in, and the room was cluttered with tokidoki figures, random stationary, jewelry, and stuff.  I was trying to get comfortable and go back to sleep when I noticed the door was cracked open so I went to close it and lock it, and then lock the other door to the bathroom but it could only be locked from the other side.  Mom came in to grab something off the vanity idk, it seemed like we were in the middle of a conflict I was blowing off or maybe we were discussing something previously I thought was a non issue and she thought otherwise. I was trying to remember why my bed was moved in there but she was still sharing the vanity and then started collecting my things to move to my room.

I was standing in a large room with some party favors and this lady was sitting at a table.  Then mom came into the room and threw some toy that launched out with a spider net and was super entertained by it.  I guess they were prepping for a party, and I realized I was standing there in a shirt and panties and decided to go find my black flowy skirt but had to go across some large area and was kind of deterred from the crowd so I went into a back area where there were a bunch of plushies and a couple cakes and stuff on top of a glass counter.  I recognized some items as previous birthday presents and saw a couple things Jay had given me and thought.. didn’t I already throw these out?  And I guessed this was a birthday thing happening.  I opened the mini fridge we used to have and inside was stuffed with unopened phone cases and drinks and other stuff.

I was in a house leaning on a small filing cabinet.  I was trying to figure out what would go where and who would get what room.  We bought a house and shared the master bedroom but each had our own rooms for our stuff that could double as offices or guest rooms, like mine had a daybed tucked in a part of the room that had a little cut out and also had a desk.  There was so much tokidoki stuff to sort out, it was mostly cacti too, like the cactus girl, the cacti hello kitty, and bastardino.. adios stars, etc. I leaned over that filing cabinet in a fourth room trying to figure out what to do with it.  Would we make it a guest room on its own or leave it for storage? You walked into the room and looked around while I thought out loud about what to do with it and about house plans but I just wanted you to come closer so I could kiss you, lol.

Don’t judge me for my dream tokidoki collection. ._.

I was in an apartment gathering Jay’s shoes so he could come pick them up.  I think this was supposed to be right after we broke up but the apartment was weird.  It was old, the colors were like it was the 70’s with the carpet and everything.  I was sitting on the floor unzipping this military pea green bag, it almost looked like it was shaped like a bag for a rifle and inside of it were more of his things I was setting aside.  I was expecting some automatic drama whenever I was going to interact with him and was trying to prepare myself for it.  I didn’t miss him, or have anxiety, or feel any kind of hatred.  I just wanted to get this exchange over with.  I also found some of my shoes while sitting on the floor and tried on a black sandal.  These looked like shoes I owned years and years ago that I wore until they died and eventually had to toss.  I always hated throwing away shoes I loved but if they’re worn out beyond repair.. they’re kind of done.  I was more attached to the shoes than anything.  I walked to the kitchen near the door and looked around then noticed a little cut out in the wall that exposed the kitchen to the living area.  I walked past the partition again and there was a hexagonal hot tub and a larger tub that was drained to it’s right, kind of like an indoor pool.  It took up the entire room and was in desperate need of being cleaned.  I was trying to figure out if there was mold buildup or something and thought about how to clean it, and thought it was going to take a lot of bleach but then didn’t want to get myself sick.  I imagined all the cleaner in that space would essentially have me huffing bleach and dying or causing some kind of damage.

I was driving around Belmont in this black SUV and it was being a pain in the ass like the power steering was off or it was just being weird while turning,  and I was trying to figure out where to go since I was supposed to see you and then there was some wedding. So I pulled into a bertos to order tacos and then went to find a seat and kept knocking things over.  A lady brought them out to me and they were packaged to go even though I wanted to eat them there, so I got up and went to the powder room to check my make up and collect myself.  I had my make up case with me instead of the bag I usually travel with, and then Ashe was standing next to me on my right saying my mama was hilarious and I was all what? And I looked up on the mirror and she was behind me wearing this pink floral top she used to wear yeeears ago and was holding a bag of make up pads or something to give me saying I’d forgotten them. And I was all oh.. uhh.. thank you.  What’s funny about this is I was having my doubts as I drove around cause it seemed like a small town where things were spaced out, kind of like Huntsville.. and even though I’ve never been to Belmont, I have been to SF and have taken transit to Daly City and saw how green it was and how dense everything is there.  I mean.. that area isn’t as densely packed as actual SF but still.  Weird.

I was sitting on the floor in my room and it was laid out differently,  I went around the corner to a closet the size of a hallway, and in the shared wall to my room there was shelving with these plastic tubs that looked like supplies from friends.  One had shampoo and other stuff and I believed it was from Forge.  There were others, and when I got to the end against the back wall I found stuff that looked like Jay had left.  There were a bunch of stage can lights sitting on the floor, some large item and after moving it around I noticed there were two antennas attached on the back so I guessed network equipment.. which really confused me since it was with Jay’s stuff, and these really weird sunglasses that looked ridiculous and I guess were some special edition collectors item.  I sifted in a box on the shelf above the items I just mentioned and found a bunch of puffy loofahs and some other stuff and was all… srsly?  I didn’t know there was a bunch in there, now I can use these instead of buying more.  Then left the closet to go back into the room and sat on the couch across from a girl in a yellow sun dress who I guess was my friend.  We were talking when she suddenly passed out on the couch and started having a seizure.  So I went over to her and moved the glass table away from her, made sure everything was cleared away from her, and supported her back so she could stay on her side.  She was bringing up some of the coffee she’d just sipped and some other stuff.  When she regained consciousness I asked if she was alright and she said what? and had forgotten what we were discussing.  Her parents had come through my bedroom door.. that was now somehow the front door and were trying to figure out the trigger, then saw my gray cat (suddenly I had a gray cat) and said she was allergic to them so maybe that was it.  They helped her up and took her home.

I looked to my right and my closet was one of those normal ones with the sliding doors except if you walked in and went left it lead to another room.  There was also a back door with a window in the original room where I started.  So when I got to the room the closet lead me to it was some kind of front room and it was furnished kind of like a living room, and there was a door that lead out of the building on the left.  I went back to the hall to find the closet and on the right there was a hidden room I was hoping was some hidden bathroom and it was kind of a hidden laundry room / bathroom and I was all nice.. the washer and dryer against the wall were soo ooold they looked like the original ones in the house I grew up in we ended up replacing.  I wondered how many years it had been since the last time someone had walked in there.  There was some ugly green tile on the walls, like that seafoam medical green… mmm it was darker than seafoam but not forest green, idk how to describe it.  I left the room and noticed another door straight down the hall instead of taking the one on the right that went to the closet, and it was another hidden room in the back that looked like an office.  There was an old phone and an answering machine that had unheard messages.  There were some other things from like 20 years ago.

I picked up the phone to see if the lan line was still working and it was, and messages started playing and it sounded like the original guy who had just been here earlier to take my friend home.  It sounded like he got stuck at work and was going to be late coming home whenever he left that message.  I noticed a pink case and in it was a tablet, which really stood out since it was a piece of modern tech.  I walked back out but this time I went into the main room up front instead of back to the closet and someone knocked on the door.  It was my parents, and mom was super excited and sat at the table.  They had a camcorder with them and was trying to get it to work, she tried to explain the previous time I saw them both she was saying certain things because she was pregnant, which I didn’t really pick up on, and I was all omg.  Because this was impossible after me anyway, so I hugged her and she was all excited.  And then dad barged through the door into the hall (it was now a glass door) into my secret not so secret bathroom and came out and I was all heeeey you can’t just go into any room you want like that, and mom scolded him and apologized to me and they left.  And I thought that’s great but even if this had happened three years ago when I was 23, at least he’d be 3 now and.. how old is she gonna be when he’s in high school?  These numbers are way off since I wasn’t 23, 3 years ago. lololol  I was trying to figure out numbers and years and apparently this was going to be a baby brother.

I walked back to the hall which was larger now, and some kid I didn’t know like maybe high school age idk was wandering in there and I was all dude where did you come from?  You can’t be back here, get out.  And he went through a door that used to be where the closet was.  I went through it and this was a large arcade and it was a public space, so I was trying to figure out the boundaries between this establishment and my area, walked around, found another room with some fancy carpeting and these huge antiques from China, and took the side door on the other side of the room and it brought me back to the hall where my parents were standing.  I guess they knew about all that stuff, and I was all… can I have one of the large antique vases?  She didn’t seem reluctant but I don’t remember how she answered.

I haven’t been posting my dreams lately cause I keep forgetting them or haven’t had a chance to post till the afternoon and then it doesn’t feel worth it.

Like yesterday I had a dream I went to visit Keaton and we were chillin under blankets on the couch like we we’re having a sleepover, then I recognized the wall unit in ththe room and remembered it was imported from Turkey, theeen remembered it was ours and realized Keaton had bought the house I grew up in. And of course there was other stuff but I can’t remember.

It is 6:31AM and a few minutes ago I woke up from a dream where mom was packing / carving this huge thing of ice but it wasn’t clear.  It wasn’t shaved ice either, it was packed like a snowball and I even grabbed some and squished it in my hand to try and form something.  Then when I looked up there was a guy standing across from me with this kind of cut out ice bucket he was carrying and there was other stuff in there like empty beer glasses and crumpled paper like it was a waste basket.  I went after whatever was supposed to be important in there and he tried to get away, and we went around this glass table and these two couches in this sitting area.  I was grabbing stuff out of the container and placing them on the table as I chased him until h finally tripped or I pushed him (can’t remember) if he fell, and I grabbed another handful of ice from that container.  Then I was standing in my old living room behind the sofa trying to explain wher I’d been to my parents and finally asked okay do you know what Jessica Jones is? And looked at dad since he likes to watch Marvel series thinking he’s got a bett of shot at knowing.  Then I explained I met Killgrave and he made me do terrible things and I can’t even remember what happened, like my memory blocked it out to protect me, but I had to stop him.  They seemed kind of confused. Idk if anything happened after that.

So yeah. Meh.

“So the nightmare today was: Went to some kind of concert at the park that required tickets. The ticket taker was not having any of it and kept making me re-park my car. Big hassle. Then finally started to go through the park, but instead of the concert it was a series of sideshow and freakshow attractions that got increasingly more macabre and horrific until we got to the clown who would tear his own face off just to have it grow back almost immediately. He had a lovely assistant wearing the Mike Myers mask from Halloween who would tack the bloody, used-up faces onto a wall with a hammer and rusty nails…all the faces seemed to be frozen in agonized screams.”

“SO this morning’s nightmare involved being a plane bound for parts east, only to end with the pilot ditching the plane into the water under the Golden Gate Bridge.  Way too vivid for me, thanks. ”

“Complete with the feeling of water pouring in from the cockpit and an inability to find the stupid life vest.  I woke up thinking about how much of a pain-in-the-ass it was going to be inflating the damned thing with that tube.”

Lorraine was in the dream I just woke up from.  Passive aggressive as ever with that eye twitch like she was snapping.  I was sitting on the couch at some house waiting on someone else (can’t remember who) and she was there and was looking at what was on my wrist.  It was a plastic bracelet from the hospital and she lifted her wrist to show she had one too, and I tried to verbalize some sympathy like oh man you got sick too that sucks..

Thanks accidental evening nap. ._.

Omg, so one of the quirks that’s been going on in my dreams sporadically over the years are the goddamn showers that come on out of nowhere.  Like I walk around in an open bathroom and they turn on, of course there is more than one shower head, and it’s inconveniently placed, and there is no way for me to turn them off so I just have to walk away and close the door.  I don’t know if I’ve ever written about this before because I’m not sure how long it’s been since one of these “dream quirks” showed up, or it’s one of those details I just forget about.  So yeah, when this happens irl it’s really going to mess with me.  I think the thought “am I dreaming?” came across in my mind too cause my big toe got caught on something I couldn’t see on the bathroom tile and when I got free I lifted my foot to look at my toe and there was this indent and I was all omg don’t look at it, it doesn’t hurt, I can’t feel it so don’t look at it and maybe it’ll go away.  I walked into the other part of the bathroom where the vanity sink and ish were all at and this was supposed to be at the Platinum where Mel and Chris got married… but it looked more like the white bathrooms in the suites at Palms Place instead.  I was waiting for you, and kind of pacing from a room back to the hall, back and forth, like not necessarily nervous but anxious, like I have no patience… which is true for certain things, but I felt like I was going to see you any minute and was going to burst.

The other dream I woke up from was interesting.  I was sitting in some other suite my brain made up and was chillin on this couch then decided to move over to these two other couches that looked like they were pushed together to make a fluffy bed thing, and it seemed like a large room like a party would have rented it but it was dim and no one else was around.  Then people were coming in and I sat up to see these Korean peeps getting all situated and talking about stuff idk what, and these cute little kids in hanboks come up to me and they’re all harmony! Which means grandma!  But I’m still me, at my age, and I still don’t have kids of my own, so I guess these are my cousin’s grandkids so they just call me harmony out of respect and where I sit on the family tree.  It was super weird even though it made sense in the dream.  And I was in this really pretty light green and yellow hanbok and had a little hat and my hair was braided.  Everybody took off so I decided to lounge back in that spot and it was more like a platform bed, and there was a mirror above it and when I looked up I saw frosted glass in the reflection and realized it was a shower door and you’d stepped in.  So here I am in a hanbok looking at the mirror creeping on you – trying not to creep on you – by creeping on you by looking at the mirror – taking a shower thinking maybe I should go join you and then decided noooo harmony can’t do that, how inappropriate for a harmony. lol

I feel like this vaccine update kept making me reboot all morning.

I had a dream that I was having an illicit affair with an emotionally distant professor and I was so desperately in love with them and getting the worst advice to get this person to feel the same. Wow…wtf? That’s not even a sex dream, that’s an emotional nightmare.

Omg, in my dream my right iris kept detaching like it was a contact lens and I could feel it and would look in the mirror and try to look at wherever the iris was, like when an actual contact moves and it wasn’t working so I had to close my left eye and would try to get my right eye to look into it instead of trying to line it up using a mirror. And I was talking to this doctor and she was all well don’t do whatever, and take a break from wearing makeup, and I was all… but none of those things happened and I never wear make up and she was all ohh and lost her confidence on this being an easy thing to deal with right there. And I guess eye surgery was on the table, which freaks me out. Idk how people deal with lasik like everyone I know irl loves it but >_>

There was a bunch of other weird stuff too like kids with bad behavior running around in this building and the carpeting down the halls and ugly wallpaper made it look like a hotel or something but whenever I looked out a window we were super high up like this had to be an office building. I’m forgetting everything now, and that’s okay.. I wanna sleep a little more anyway.

Dreamed about serious full scale alien invasion all night last night. Battles in the skies over Summerlin/ Centennial Hills area. Nellis’ response team was losing, bad. Best and brightest pilots wiped out quick. Ground missile launch teams were a scrambling, failingly chaotic second wave. Citizens stared dumbly into the skies snapping pics on facebook. Myself included- or at least, I was trying to- but all I could manage to post was the word “FUCK–” I got some video but it wouldn’t load. I met some of the humanoid looking aliens and understood they were not human but wearing like, “Edgar suits”. They seemed to think they were here to help, regardless of their ruthless disarmament. They sent automated drones out to collect human donations of objects and food for study. I tried to explain to them about days of the week and the concept of coffee. But I started choking in my dream and couldn’t speak or even breathe, so as I was blacking out I mentally begged the aliens for help. I felt them jolt me awake, and I woke up literally choking for real. Got some water and then fell back asleep and had at least 2 more subsequent dreams in the same storyline.
In the first I met or saw a documentary about a spaceship full of earth human children we had sent out as a sort of “great hope” experiment. They reported they had seen “friends” while up there [these same invading aliens], often tailing them or drifting alongside their ship. One boy explained, “At first we couldn’t talk to them very well, but then they gave us better words/3-D words…[I think he said “better words” but I understood he meant something like 3-D visual telepathic speech]” and the kid’s face brightened up and he indicated talking to their “friends” was fun and cool way they passed the time up there.
The second dream showed me that all of our chemical and material manufacturing processes on earth had been getting seeded with extraterrestrial particles and molecules from the aliens’ homeworld for a while to make the planet more hospitable to them and somehow also affect us- again part of their agenda to “help” us. The particles were now inextricably woven into everything- oils, plastics, metals, glass, fabric, even food and drink. The molecules bore a special alien ID tag or “makers’ mark” that was only visible under an electron microscope.
Needless to say I’m pretty tired today, lol.

You were here but the office environment looked different and it was smaller, kind of like the one I was in, in 2007.  Everyone was chatting about random stuff and I found something online about Lady Gaga playing later in the evening and then lost it.   We kept guessing venues and I said for a show that big it’d have to be Mandalay, Hard Rock, or MGM. I couldn’t find it and somehow the conversation shifted to Britney Spears having an actual concert outside of her show at Planet Hollywood.

I got up and went to the kitchen for some kind of caffeine and you were listening to me think out loud about wtf event was going on tonight and why was it missing from the Internet.  You hadn’t participated in the speculation and had just been listening.  I walked out of the kitchen and flopped onto a couch. The kitchen was dim but the room the couch was in was lit softly like it was early morning. You said something but I can’t remember what it was and you came over close enough for me to pull you down and kiss you. You were exhausted but willing to at least restrict yourself to sitting next to me. I threw my arms around you from behind and kissed your neck, trying to get you to cave in and you did. But it was off and I couldn’t figure it out. Then I realized the way you kissed me was different like it wasn’t even you so I started to retract and you got up before I could say anything.

I fell back asleep as soon as I logged in and you confirmed you were having breakfast.

I dreamed the company sold  I saw the announcement but am not sure what happened after. A lot was going on in this dream. I was in an office with a bunch of cubes and teams were sectioned off. I saw Syd and some other people I know professionally, I saw Nicola and others from the scene. I was looking for B because he was sick and a doctor had come but I couldn’t find him. I walked around and things kept changing from residential to office. The doc followed me looking for B and groped me. After he cupped my ass I wanted to beat the shit out or him but decided to let him walk ahead. Finally I went outside and saw an orange 1972 Chevy Nova SS pull out of its parking spot and it was B driving (B has a Nisan Cube irl).  I started waving my arms and saw him look back at me in the rear view mirror, smile, nod his head in acknowledgement, and drive off. I started running down the street after him but wasn’t going to be able to keep up. I got into Korean car and hauled ass but lost him and couldn’t remember which street to turn on once I got to this casino. He was a street away, but this was Mesa.  I turned right and saw a park on the south side of the street and there was something watching me. It was a white wolf, and then there were a few of them, and then there was a bunch of white flurry not snow? and tall grass in a path where asphalt should have been. They took interest in me and started casually following.  There was a large white wolf in the road and I slammed on my brakes to make sure I could get around it, then kept going.

I was back at some other house and was letting some bunnies out to run around in the living room. A lot of people were over. I decided to take a dog for a walk and grabbed his leash then went out the front door.  This neighborhood didn’t look safe, and there was some guy across the street in another yard and someone else. Then there were people walking into the yard I was in and I was surrounded by people in these dark brown uniforms.  They said they were the authorities but I didn’t believe them. I faced the man who spoke and demanded to see a warrant and asked for the purpose of the visit. He ignored me and went through the side door into ththe kitchen. I don’t think they expected to see so many people gathered inside and when I got into the kitchen noticed one of the ladies in uniform stood back to watch what would happen.  I asked her who they really were and she said they were with an insurance firm and handled collections.  They eventually left.

I was in some other residence and saw a couple people walking around from a window upstairs. One looked like a girl in cosplay and I hadn’t seen her partner. I’d stepped outside a huge window to get a better look but then realized I was on a thin ledge and almost fell, grabbing the door frame and pushing myself back inside. I ended up in another location and watcher people snoop around looking for me, I can’t remember if this was through a video feed I planted, but the older gentleman I could hear suggested calling it off and leaving me alone after all the damage. The house blew up.

There were other bits of dream including being in a park with a friend holding his baby daughter and she declared her name was really Madeline. Like she didn’t speak it perfectly but struggled until she finally slowly sounded it out in a very determined way. At another house I was sitting on a brown couch and people were coming and going and Jay was going to Quiznos and cyber goth Bri from Phoenix was being really weird and standoffish to m but was being receptive with him and was going to some concert. So after they left I asked someone if they were dating and didn’t get an answer.

When I woke up one of my blankets was almost off my bed to my right and the other was shoved to my left and I was cold.  They’re usually one on top of the other, so I guess I moved around a lot. I hate dreams with Jay in them, and I don’t want to see B either since our friendship just ended.  I’m exhausted.

I hadn’t been dreaming, or remembering them lately, so I was surprised to just wake up from one where you were here.  We were laying in bed naked and kinda back to back, I think you were passed out and I rolled over towards you.  You were waking up and made some comment about how you should leave and I was all why are you in a hurry? And you said it’d be bad if we were still up here when my dad came back and I was all ohhh, and asked “okay, wanna get breakfast?” all lyrical and smiley sounding like those chicks in Mexico lol. And you said sure and got out of bed and I giggled and told you how it’s funny to me this bed remained the virgin bed since I’d never shared it with anyone, and apparently we hadn’t done anything but slept.  I told you about the bed I’m laying on right now irl, how this was the frame I picked out when I was 13 and moved out over a decade ago and came home and my parents held on to the frame for me.  This is a black wrought iron frame, but in the dream it was a brass frame like mom’s bed.

So I went to my closet to get dressed and asked you what the plan was for breakfast. You said probably “IR” since you had to meet someone up in Greenfield or Sunnyslope or somewhere way up north in Phoenix and I was all okay, and put on a white dress with a cardigan and these teal heels I used to own back in the day and contemplated switching to a red dress I just bought, and you said we didn’t have much time, and I said I was quick and asked how long do you usually wait on me to get ready? My room was different, it was bigger but still packed with my stuff and I was saying how I needed more storage, like I needed more trips to IKEA and you said you could relate to trying to make small spaces work.  And then we were outside and were  walking and this chick stopped me to ask how some power outlet worked near a pool, like it was normally off in the area unless you hit the breaker but I wasn’t sure so I apologized and kept going, but had lost you.  I turned the corner and was in this huge warehouse kind of like Costco but not as bright, and kept walking.  All the check out lanes were blocked by carts or doors and I was getting frustrated and this one lady in a vest just watched me go from dead end to dead out without saying a word, like I was her entertainment.  I yelled and then another lady who worked there helped me through.  I was walking through the grocery store looking for you and happened to see Andrew C, so I yelled Andrew!! And he walked over with a few beer growlers. I’d lost you and he’d lost Elise, and my phone buzzed and showed some weather alert for dust and thunder storms. I tried calling your phone but you wouldn’t pick up. All I remembered was anxiety here. Elise eventually showed up.

I was sitting on the couch in the living room, in the house I grew up in.  The curtains were pulled back and it was bright. I had been on the floor drawing earlier and it was a picture of these very cartoony kids saying something disconcerting, but I can’t remember what. Sahar was laying down on the other couch and I told her I was going to try and call you one more time cause I was worried you were dead or something.  When I called you picked upland said “hello,” and I started taking and you could hear it in my voice that I was crying, and made some comment about “well you’re upset alright” and was super condescending.  Instead of waiting for me you went on with our plans without me and I couldn’t find you or reach you, and you gave no fucks. I was in shock, and that’s the end of this morning’s dream.

Its just a dream, a fucking anxiety filled I can’t get to you bs dream.

My dad just woke me out of a dead sleep by asking what time I was going in to the office today and I answered him, and then he said the guy who hit my car doesn’t want to pay for repairs because “I backed into him,” when my car is an automatic, and I was waiting for traffic to clear before making a right turn. Are you kidding?? So I dropped an f bomb and went off on that asshole and the audacity of this bs, and how can his insurance take his word for this when he was apologizing profusely to me that he wasn’t paying attention and was on the phone etc, and I have photos.. so now I get to pay a $500 deductible through my insurance to cover it like it was an uninsured motorist accident, and they get to sort it out, and then I realized what I was yelling through the door while waking up and was all “you woke me right out of a dream, I was running through a bookstore and then heard you and we were talking about that guy who hit my car and I dropped an f bomb and didn’t realize it, sorry dad.” And he was all its okay I’m not mad, sorry to wake you…

“it’s okay..” >_>

So I was running through a Korean bookstore a few minutes ago, and there was some indoor shop with different suits and booths/kiosks in the open areas and I was shopping, and I lost my cellphone and was looking for it, and had a huge pink umbrella, and was walking east cause I was using the umbrella to block the sun as it was setting, and some asshole lifted my skirt from behind and I got super mad and turned around to beat the shit out of him with my umbrella.

What a morning. I am so mad, and haven’t left my bed yet.

We were stuck at this outdoor coffee table thing kind of how Postinos is set, there were people around us so we were lyncing each other and would shift our laptops over to nod for responses and were trying to get out of there. There was something else about a house but I can’t remember.

I like how in my dream I woke up drowsy and exhausted, so I get to do it twice.  I accidentally texted you a picture from this weird red blackberry / iPhone hybrid thing. Like it looked like my blackberry from back in the day but was the size of my iPhone and I can’t remember who said what but you pointed out I’d sent you a series of pictures like they told a story, and they were all pieces from Chiara Bautista. I had to find my actual phone in my backpack and my iPhone was like twice its size but still not an iPad?

I feel like I had two random dreams that were competing with each other, or just bled into each other.  There was a judge that ruled I had to have party even though I didn’t have the capacity for my student body and back tracked later thinking, isn’t that breaking fire code?  I wish I’d thought of that sooner so I could have brought it up.  I was on the laptop at the dining room table (it was bright, it was different), and we were talking on AIM and the window was blinking but I had to keep opening another window in front of it or lowering the screen because I was trying to concentrate and people were walking in and out of the room.  And when I finally peeked, you said you were playing with Photoshop like I had been and sent me a few selfies and some other stuff and I was all omg, I don’t have time for this, why don’t I have time for this?  Omg.  And then I was walking around in this venue, and it was kind of like a mall, like Fashion Show where they have that runway in the middle, and it was at night and I was in this pageant-like dress and the fabric design was the American flag and there was a detachable cape.  It was weird af.  And then there were people outside yelling so I went across the street and went inside this small house, and someone invited themselves in to be a guest.

I was in another house upstairs, three girls disappeared into bedroom, and I was about to accuse them of trying to use Mel, but they came out of the room in party dresses and wern’t going to ditch her.  I went out back to the pool, then went around corner and walked around until I decided to go back inside and found another room whee Hurley and other people dressed like bikers and goths were standing around a flogging demonstration.  So I was all… this is out of place and was about to walk out but a friend saw me and hugs me and I’m in a really small swimsuit and want to gtfo, so we hug and then I gtfo.  There was a dude with a bunch of clipboards tied together on red cord he was pulling,  and I was trying to stay out of way, then grabbed one end of cord and ask if he’ll be rolling them up or using something else to see if I could help.  He said he wasn’t, then said oh yeah you’re IT, and I was all yeah I used to be, and he was all okay cool we’ll call you if we need you… okay cool.   It’s dark out and we’re behind a warehouse area, so I started walking back and step on glass.  There was a lot of broken glass on the asphalt.  I made it to the door and a nice lady helped me up the stairs, and along the wall there’s art from different students and one section has my projects from high school and she says my name and starts pointing some very steampunk looking things out, and at the end in a glass case is something I sewed and it apparently had some significance, like if our stuff was on the walls we had some kind of magic.. aaaand I woke up.