Category Archives: Dreams

Got a nap in this afternoon.  I can still see the places I was just at in my dreams but can’t really describe what happened, not much was really going on. This studio had a bunch of large CRT TVs on an entertainment center and another shelf against a wall, something was playing but I can’t remember what. There was a laptop on a table and it looked like Blood on the Dance Floor but sounded like Empire of the Sun’s Alive. I noticed the windows weren’t covered and went to close the blinds only to find they weren’t there. So I walked over to the other side of the room and still didn’t see anything to cover the windows, walked outside and was in this gated area. It was reminiscent of West Phoenix, dirt, asphalt, random small palm tree, white painted cinder block walls with metal bars above them and tinged kind of brown from the paint job being so old and from the sun being so harsh. I walked back and the sun had gone down. This large patio had benches and tables under a metal awning, the wall outside this building had a mural and all I remember was a lot of yellow and some orange. It would have been bright in daylight. I turned the corner to go back to the room and then I was in front of a laptop with a bunch of papers and drawings around me. One of the drawings was from my friend Myra in high school. I picked it up and some letters fell off, the girl disappeared and it said something else.

I sent a link to a friend in Phoenix to get to Snoh. Camelback had been under construction and now Snoh was on some other side street north. While working on this site I kept running into link issues and was fighting to submit my application for graduation at ASU so I could walk in May.  Then a group of us went to Delux at the Biltmore and were playing with a fry cart.

We were in a large penthouse watching some opera, in it this woman was upset because she was exiled and trapped but could still see her castle, and the person who trapped her came out onto a balcony to be a dick while she cried. My friend Jamie, who used to be my roommate, was sitting next to me and on another row of couches below us was Anna, to our left was her assigned bff. I was stuck between this fluffy cushion behind me and the one from the couch below us being flipped back, and was trying to use the one in front of me as a kinda pillow on my lap since it was there anyway. Anna was passed out and her assigned bff was talking with Jamie about something relating to German culture, that’s when Jamie asked “hey do you remember Casey?” Since he travels to Germany quite a bit. And I was all omg I haven’t seen him in forever.

The show was over and Jamie had gotten up, I scooched my way further down on this sofa and started doodling on edlight (really brain?), very whispy sketchy almost Amano style mixed with Adora Batbrat’s makeup style. The screen went back and forth from looking like I was drawing on paper to seeing my reflection, like I was painting makeup on myself. Anna’s assigned bff came by to look, complemented it, walked off. I moved to some other large furniture piece against another wall with my back to the rest of the room and you came up behind me, leaned down and whispered something I didn’t catch, then said something about me having a lot of patience and kissed my forehead. I wasn’t really responding so you ran your hand up and down my right side to make me twitch, saying that’s the reaction you were looking for and left.

Was stuck at some carnival county fair-ish like event. I went into a Walgreens to grab stuff but inside it was weird and super fancy. I was there to break a large bill and was expecting more back from some previous transaction, then watched the guy on the other side of the bar put the cash in this box with another stack and.. grind it? The money was cut into little squares and was destroyed. After walking out I found Javier, he hugged me and we walked to some other room and sat on the couch in some awkward pseudo cuddle but not really position. It weirded me out and I got up, went up front and saw Sabrina with other people. Saw Javier ‘ s parents who were these stereotypical red necks with southern accents and redneck names. The mom asked me if you had to hook up power cords to phones. I said no, explained PoE and pointed to an ethernet jack in the wall. She made comments on my dress trying to be nice but she had issues with it. I went to the bedroom to put on a sweater since it wasn’t worth dealing with, grabbed my phones and bag, and went back to retrieve my money.

I was walking up to a door when I saw my friend Emmily come up, she was staying in the hotel room next door. We greeted each other and said hello when she asked if you were in and I said I thought so. She asked to come in and see you for a second when I opened the front door, so we walked in quietly when we noticed you were reclined and passed out in a chair. She complemented your suit then left. You started to wake up so I sat next to you and leaned down to cuddle up on your right side, asking you how you were. You kissed me and said you were exhausted but fine so we laid there and you kept kissing me. I didn’t want to get up because I could feel this was a fleeting moment.

You were driving and asked me to download this app onto your iPhone that was mentioned in a tech video I just watched on said iPhone, on YouTube, but I had issues finding it and tried looking for Google play which wasn’t happening.

Then I was at a table with a huge group of friends when I looked over at the table from my left and saw this other group, and this girl squiggling hateful things on poster board with a sharpie, things about me going to hell and other random stuff. I cant remember if it was for anything specific like being an atheist or goth or whatever, so I walked right up to the girl, took her sign, held it up in front of me and started reading it out loud. I then told her instead of writing it out with a sharpie she should be saying it loud and clear in the same way I demonstrated. She looked pissed, other people at her table looked angry, the kids at her table had the same hatred written on their faces. They looked like stereotypical backwoods Alabama Bible thumpers. The lady I stole the sign from started reciting Bible versus to me with the same disgusted facial expression, and all I could think was man I wish I’d read the book of Satan so I could recite some stuff back. I started laughing instead, pointing out how hateful they were and poking holes in their beliefs while walking between their groups table and my own. They got up and left, so I went back to their table to take this pretty vase but the flowers were wilting so I tossed them.

Our group left shortly after and I was looking for something outside by the table next to this large tree and something told me to remove this red brick, I wasn’t sure what it was. My friend Eros walked up, said good bye, and she left.  It looked like mid afternoon and you walked up asking if I was ready to go. I was sitting on the table when you hugged me and I told you I paid mom off and didn’t have to deal with the student loans anymore. I was debt free, then remembered to add on that actually it happened last pay period. I almost cried because I couldn’t believe I was “there.” We decided to leave and you offered to drive saying, “Do you know how often I drive in the city?” And mentioned something about your Toyota Yaris and then my fancy Kia. When we left the tree and got to the car the sun had just set. I moved my luggage from the front passenger seat to the back and when the engine started my ipod shuffled to The Cure’s Fascination Street, then to Folsom Prison Blues. So you sang along to Jonny Cash while driving and holding my hand. I just held your hand tight, and sank into the seat, leaning onto your arm.

So um… Black Mirror is fun, and by fun I mean actually fun and terrifying. There’s the episode “White Bear” that already freaked me out from the start, the tones, the flickering from the TV and jacked up mooninite-ie upside down Minecraft creeper looking symbol.. the way everything tied in.  I was having trouble deciding which factors were more disturbing than the others regarding both details and plot, so thanks Black Mirror.  This episode also reminded of a reoccurring dream I used to have as a child where I’d be somewhere at home and would walk down the stairs in the dark, and would be overcome with this fear of needing to hide from whoever was coming after me.  There were red lasers coming through.  They were red dot scopes, they were going to kill me, and I would run into the kitchen and hide sitting on the tile floor with my back against the cabinets under the sink.  There were always red dots around me, on me, and I just knew that dot meant someone was aiming at me.  The perfect visual example would be Mark Benford’s flashforward where he’s loaded, confused, and there are people coming to kill him, except child me isn’t loaded on alcohol.  This reoccurring dream became less frequent until it went away.  I probably haven’t thought about it for 13-ish years up until this week… so again.. thanks Black Mirror. ._.

I wake up in your arms and say johan achim, saranghayo. You squeeze me tight and respond sukiyo. I wake up a second time but now I’m alone. This is worse than dreaming about repeated trips to hell through other dreams. I don’t know why this is happening,  I don’t know why I’m telling you.

I see you more in my dreams than I do in real life. I had no idea why you left such an impression on me from day 1 until I went through these archives, and I don’t even bother saying anything because I know how it sounds. I hadn’t posted them all here since I texted them as soon as I woke, and I think I’d be very heartbroken reading them here since they weren’t real. Maybe someday it’ll be real.

Just woke up from a dream there were cameras above my bed, not cool. Also a bunch of other weird stuff I can’t remember. Also things were escalating with a friend I hadn’t seen in years and this wouldn’t happen irl.

I was walking away from angry Johnny and this kid and started walking back towards Thomas and 44th st. After crossing the street I noticed a van had stopped right by me so I stepped back, and when the door opened I started running. I had my work backpack on and was about to drop it thinking did they want it, me, are they trafficking… and wouldn’t they target kids too? Then I realized they were after me and being an adult didn’t matter. I went across traffic and in search of a heavily populated area, but no one was around. Finally I ran into a business and he followed, I turned around to attack him and he was exhausted trying to catch his breath in a booth. I was about to strike him when I realized he wasn’t a threat and asked what he wanted. He explained something (don’t remember) but it was supposedly a misunderstanding and he had damage on his right hand from the last time we interacted. All of a sudden there was a previous interaction I remembered but didn’t. He was explaining his purpose for being there and flipping through papers, mentioning how he’s part German, and speaking in an apologetic / sympathizer / reformed manner. This is weird cause this part of the dream was B&W when the rest was color, and this is the first time I’m aware of ever dreaming in B&W. It was dim lit and the place was crowded, some people would glance at us, some would just stare at me and I was getting nervous because of my Asian features. The guy kept talking German history and I commented on how it’s all in the past and he said there were people, even here, who followed an old mentality, and some were in uniform.

Someone just asked if I was goth while walking through a building to an indoor wave pool and the person I was walking down with said “no she’s Rogue.” And they asked if I was a satanist, and I said “yeah, cause I bite heads off chickens and like to do Satan’s bidding… on ebay.” The guy who asked was dressed as green lantern and looked disgusted so I laughed and laughed and woke up.

Apparently… I just slept through my first earthquake. . I’m going back to sleep.

Had a weird dream it was the holiday season, it seemed like there was more emphasis on spending time with loved ones around Thanksgiving but people were burnt out on holiday stuff around Christmas. I’ve worked through a few Christmas’ so yeah.. A group of friends from all over and I were in AZ on the west side having dinner at a table outside and as the sun set we started paying attention to the building across from us. It was like Monsterland in Mesa except around Glendale and there was a lot of detail and lighting on the outside. We were trying to figure out what nights were going on there. I also couldn’t navigate the freeways after, hate those dreams. But I feel well rested.

Wow, I hallucinated a text message this morning I never actually got. Was too tired to respond, went back to sleep. Eyes still very tired, that message doesn’t exist. Henry Rollins was in my dream, that was funny.

Alarm just woke me from this dream I was dancing this traditional Indian dance with this nice lady up front in front of a college class in a dance studio, for a demonstration and a little friendly competition. Before that puppies. Before that I was in the back of a class with a buddy when the instructor made my friend move to the front of the class and I got excited cause I used to always sit up front.

A coworker was going over components to build a machine online and there I was with my tower cracked open to go over what I had and what to upgrade. I kept looking for the model info on the motherboard and the Intel chip wasn’t in a slot like you’d expect. It was in its own enclosed cooled case connected to the motherboard. Weird right? The tower was huge and the chassis was this nice blue with black trim where the fans and other slots were. I haven’t had a tower since 2007 btw, and irl I’ve been looking to upgrade my laptop.

Later in the dream we were at a group outing and I kept thinking maybe I’ll go to Walgreens, pick up beer and come back, the road was all windy like parts of Scottsdale, but there was beach so I was all oh, I might go home and grab my swimsuit so I can go swim in the ocean or something. Will’s gf brought baked goods and my ex offered to take her to some industry version of Sur La Table since he’s a chef. I ended up inside and fell asleep, woke up way later, went out and a bunch of people were swimming in this gigantor pool.

Beth yelled for me to jump in and I was all but I don’t have a swimsuit and Cori was all so what, and I said “but it’s not that kinda party.” It was daytime again and I was on a motorcycle going west and it was raining, then it stopped, and traffic was bad cause some asshole had some fob and changed the light red when he saw cars coming up, so the guy next to me and I were going to give it 90 seconds to change before treating it like a stop sign.

I was in this large disheveled house where this guy was looking at pictures on a tablet and I kept pointing out how one of the girls in in the pics looked like my friend Kat, and in one of them she was holding a replica of Sailor Moon’s want from the 2nd season. I walked down the hall to another room and saw these boys getting ready for prom, one had a bunch of stickers from a hot topic haul and there were cute hello kitty gel stickers. We hung out for a while and I mentioned the stickers, so they were all grab a sheet, but I couldn’t find them in the bag. I had one of my hats (fascinators) pinned in my hair and makeup on, and this guy was going over skin care trends and had me lay down so he could apply these products from Korea. At one point he squeezed a lime and mixed it with something then I abruptly got up to rinse my face in the bathroom and my eye makeup was smudging and running off the sides a little.

The boring days started to shine suddenly
since the day you appeared.
When the horrifying reality separates us,
we are attracted to each other more strongly
I can still keep going for more and more
The mundane days started to shine suddenly
since the day my heart was stolen

– Utada

I can’t remember a lot of my dream. Just that I had a large tattoo of an ornate elephant (just the face and trunk, not Ganesh, mostly blue color, some red) on my left arm. The colors were light like replicated water color.

The goth club was set up really weird. The room was a large hall with a bed and chairs. Sage was there. Then I was fighting a claw machine with Gypsy and got a shirt, then she got something, then I tried again and failed.

I forgot a lot of last night’s dream but just remembered Jay was ill and there was an abscess on his left arm. I had to tell him “no, I won’t live with you.” He and Darlene had broken up and he was trying to get back together. We were at Chelsea’s (illustry) house. I called Ashe and was about to go meet up with her as a bunch of people were coming into the room I was sitting in, and they started reciting letters in the Korean alphabet. They had workbooks and I had a different Korean workbook in my purse so I participated. I said one thing in Korean and this elderly lady next to me had that delighted and surprised look on her face. She started speaking to me in Korean and I had nooo idea what she was saying.

It was like a trip. I’m napping at some beach house at a resort and wake up, some movie with Katie Holmes and Ashton Kutcher is on the tv. Look outside the window and see peeps swimming and walking around, decide to go outside and some dude with strawberry blonde hair gets out of the pool, smiles at me and walks off. Decided to put on a wrap dress over my swimsuit and some dude starts creeping on me so I yelled “stop creeping on me” every time he got closer until he went away.

There were a bunch of people and some kind of snow cone stand behind me. This chick was giving me side eye and made a comment about me being racist so I got right up in her face and told her that I told the previous guy to leave me alone because he was creeping on me, not because he’s black, and everyone understands creepy vibes when someone pushes personal space or boundaries… and I’m walking with these girls stating my case, and through the crowd this group of goth kids (high school or college age) pass us and their legs are long like they were wearing stilts under their pants.

And I ended up at this homecoming game rally and peeps were in Westwood letter jackets, people were holding hands and going in circles around a bonfire and this lady grabbed my hand, and I saw someone very familiar and grabbed him with my other hand. He was tall, shoulder length dark hair, and had greenish blueish eyes. We all ended up sitting on bleachers and he mentioned taking some girl to the dance that night so I turned away from him and took off my hoodie (I don’t know when I switched to jeans and a hoodie in the dream).

It was weird, we weren’t supposed to be teenagers. I would look away and back, I noticed his watch was white and analog. I though no… it should be a black digital watch, and when I looked back it was, and we were adults, and we were alone but that’s right when I woke up.

Its hard to record random dreams in any order, knowing which scene started and when it skips to the next.  I remember starting on a bridge watching Lychee look over the ocean.  We were in New York and she wore an all blue wig, dressed a certain way like she did last time she was there to replay an event or find someone she’d met previously.  I started walking down the bridge looking at the water shimmer at sunset, I’d walked down to the dock and leaned against the fence watching people leave in different boats.  I was in tall heels and a chipao dress, I don’t think I started on the bridge that way.

I don’t know about these dreams I keep having. . Now I had one where a friend was about to kiss me mid conversation and I stepped back and said his wife’s name, and w00t for logic cause we were all no that’s not a good idea then started saying how we never should have let emotions come into play IT WAS FREAKING WEIRD because of who it was and irl we’re not into each other and yeah wtf… I need caffeine…

We were gonna go to Hakkasan after dinner. We discussed Kabuki and said we’d grab a set of chopsticks as poof cause it was needed for some reason. You treated me like I was so beautiful. Then I woke up… that’s all I got…

I just woke up from this dream I was pregnant with twins. One was a boy and one was a girl. One was just under 2 lbs and the other was around 3 lbs during an ultrasound checkup and I could feel their kicks and see impressions of their tiny feets on my belly! I have no idea what trimester twins would be around that size.

The last things I remember are yelling where medical equipment should go except it was through call center floor / office space and with limited storage space and resources. I was yelling where something should go across a hall then went around the corner to accept another piece of mobile equipment while two people were rushing behind me asking where to take their cart, explaining there was a camera or other piece of equipment on another cart and I yelled at them to keep going towards cardiothoracic cause Christina Yang could pull the camera and use it in her next surgery. And this new guy starting Monday irl, he was there trying to help and when I walked outside and was standing on these steps in a park there were a bunch of him all dressed differently. Some dressed in normal work attire, a couple in different DBZ shirts, some were dressed like band members, or punk, or emo, some were in colorful jersey tops with matching sneakers. I don’t get it… but I’m amused my brain pulled a Grey’s Anatomy reference.