Category Archives: Dreams

I mentioned to Adrian earlier today that I had a dream lightning struck again, but it was very different. Lightning is what I’ve used to describe love at first sight. He asked if it was different good or bad, and it was neutral. I explained it wasn’t how I’d ever expect it to happen (not that I ever expected to experience this once, let alone twice), since it wasn’t instantaneous. It seemed to take a while instead, and this was a such a small snipped of the rest of the dream, but there was a notable flood of NRE. NRE is rare for me. Also, I’ve never experienced that kind of lighting as some epiphany or sudden connection, like I was already platonically connected to someone or maybe dating casually and then it just hit and suddenly there was oxytocin and this all consuming overwhelming knowing. I don’t even know if I could classify what I’ve experienced irl as some knowing. I didn’t know, I didn’t have the data, but I had a strong gut feeling and it said this is important, pay attention here, this is life changing.

Adrian said he always encourages new connections and relationships, and joked that I can have a harem. I mean, I’m not against connections and have always been open to possibilities while also being very selective with my bandwidth and energy. A lot of people I’ve met over the years kind of take themselves out of the running, I don’t have patience for stupidity.

Dreams are weird anyway. I don’t have the time to record them in the mornings and this kind of sucks because I wish I remembered the rest of it, oh well.

I had the dumbest dream this morning that Adrian had a harem and they all got together and made this facebook group. There were 16 members, they were all in there but no one thought to introduce themselves to me or invite me to the group. I was the last one, how tf did that happen? I was so furious they excluded me and was sooo salty. 🤣

When I told him about the dream when we woke up, he said something about if I ever end up having an isekai dream how it’s his fault or something, Idk I’m sleepy and the sleep debt is high af right now.

So this was unexpected, but I guess not surprising. A few weeks ago I went and had coffee with Sarah and made some new friends, it happened to land at a favorite cafe downtown that has patio seating outside. There was a guy named Steve who had the best cybergoth aesthetic I’ve seen in a long time, but he called it something else, something techwear? I can’t remember, but it looks good, and he made quite an impression. His partner is also lovely and has a great aesthetic going too. Some crazy thing happened where this unstable dude from the street started yelling at us, and had apparently been around before I showed up so this is when Steve started confronting him and asking what he wanted, if he needed something, etc. The guy had come back with a large wooden stick that had metal caps(?) on the end and was being threatening until property management came out of nowhere and got in dudes face until PD showed up. It was wild. But other than that we had a pretty good afternoon. So of course my brain is like, this is a no go, they’re partnered. Then on social media I find they’re poly, or are exploring it since the gf also started seeing someone else. My brain then defaults back to the, we’ve barely interacted although I’d love to more because they’re fun and nice and are into the same events I am, we just haven’t been around the same place at the same time while also knowing each other (they had their own crew at Bass Canyon, hah). I’d want to become better friends with them both regardless, and even writing this out I feel presumptuous af, there’s no guarantee of reciprocation in attraction or interest, nor would I know if he’s even ready to explore out of his current dynamic. I’m not going to approach this, it’ll just be nice to run into them organically if it lands that way. We’re kind of online friends now but if we end up at the same music event, cool. I can’t tell if they’re egalitarian or hierarchical, and they might still be trying to figure that out. It’s also none of my business. What I can tell is they’re nesting partners who are deeply in love, and they have an admirable dynamic together.

I haven’t had much time in the mornings to record dreams because of early meetings and not being able to take my time to wake up. So this mornings dream was interesting because I was out with this group again and we were all having a good time. I can’t remember most of the details because I’ve been up for hours dealing with work, but wanted to at least get this much down until it was completely gone. At some point in the dream he and I were chatting and then ended up sitting together on a couch and we were both trying to read each other, then leaned in to kiss each other. It was surprising even in the dream, there was a flood of I’m excited, and surprised, and maybe we’d been flirting but we hadn’t discussed anything so HOW DID WE GET HERE?! *dream Internet yelling and excitement*

It was a good dream, I guess my brain hasn’t let go of this little crush even though I’ve put it out of my mind during waking hours.

Just had a string of bizarre dreams, Blackhat happened like normal and everyone went except for me. Like the plague was over everywhere except for where I was at. I saw pics of everything I missed out on. Then I was driving around by MCC and couldn’t find something, there was a part where I was wandering around an office space, then ended up in a bar with some people and this guy thought it was funny to grope my right boob so I grabbed the gum I’d been chewing on and pretended to make out with him while spreading the gum in his hair. Then we all got out and he started flipping out in the parking lot and I was like *shrug* then I was walking around in a baggy Cure shirt thinking… so I’ve reached this level of goth.

I went somewhere in some neighborhood looking for my friend Ash in AZ but whoever opened the door was confused at the two women behind me and I said they were my daughters, but they looked like they’re around my age, like this was some In Time !@#$. Then I ended up in some other building and this chick Janelle in the Seattle goth scene was distraught because she was supposed to get married and was going lose a lot of money on catering and everything else and this was supposed be her dream wedding. I somehow ended up becoming the back up bridegroom and now I’m in a white dress but I was like uhhh, do you want me in white or black? Super confused. She has a tattoo needle and asks for my right hand and I’m like wtf? She wants me to have a matching tattoo on my hand like she has. Then peeps are just running around doing their thing and I’m sitting at a table all.. when I do my vows do I use my Korean or English name Idk. I walked off and saw a couple friends I recognized, thought about making a post online for anyone nearby to object to the wedding during the ceremony but had to think about the filters so not everyone would see it and that wasn’t working out, saw a couple friends grabbing coffee and I walked up going someone please buy me caffeine and a friend was asking what I wanted mid order and the alarm went off. >_>

Was having this great dream about being on this date with someone in some contemporary suite and at one point I took off this white lace kimono and he started painting me with gold glitter and started down the right side of my neck and on to my shoulder. Of course this is where the alarm goes off, and this person doesn’t exist irl. :v

I had a dream Adrian’s mom sent him and Cass rings. He asked if I had any insights on what that means to me, but I didn’t have any. I mean Parker from Charmed made a really quick cameo in my dream too so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I had a bad dream I watched three cities get bombed from where I was at, the third that hit SF was nuclear. And then everything around me got bright as shit as I realized SEA was next and I’d be dead immediately.

I just had a bad dream Adrian and I went away for a retreat and got into an argument when I doubled down on calling out some cis het white male privilege, so he broke up with me, thinking he could rack up a higher body count single… and also to spite me (which is nothing like him at all, that’s a total Jay move though).

I was so confused because dumping me wouldn’t have changed anything regarding the debauchery and hedonism we’d planned on partaking in anyway. It was just a dick move. And I was very hurt and decided I’d be the better slut at this event. I was going to fuck every woman he looked at before he could get within speaking distance of her.

These fucking stress dreams, 0/10 would prefer to never have this dream again.

Had a bad dream I couldn’t find Adrian in a weird place, ended up back in the house in Phoenix in chaotic disarray and heard some whistling so I turned the corner to the master bedroom and saw dad was back, went wtf, asked where mom was and then went looking for her and saw she’d been packing but couldn’t find her anywhere either.

In another part of the dream, the breaks on my car were fucked too. I couldn’t come to a complete stop and was coming to an intersection and tried to turn to minimize damage but was fully expecting to get hit, somehow didn’t get hit when I stopped parallel to a building wall. I haven’t had car troubles in a dream since buying my current car, and the breaks went out on my goddamn dream car. Sigh

Irl, I’m glad we’re okay as a couple, I’m not okay personally right now and am still dealing. These !@#$ stress dreams. 🙁

I had some long drawn out version of dude where’s my car in my dream. Couldn’t find it in the carport at night where I left it in the complex I grew up in, parents switched townhouses or something. It took longer to trek, ended up in another house nearby and this sweet elderly lady (I’m guessing Japanese) was there with her cat and someone else who was around opened the door when someone knocked, this dude just barged in and was trying to sell candles or something and left on there then I realized he wasn’t wearing a mask (no one was) but I told him to back tf up and he started yelling about the hoax and plandemic and I ran outside ready to launch this candle at him but he was gone. I realized I didn’t have my keys in my pocket so I started walking north to go get them and ended up in some building where outside reminded me of west gate in AZ.

I passed some windows in this mixed residential commercial area and saw lots of beautiful clothing, and sketches hung up, and remembered many years ago when I pursued fashion as a career, realizing that’s what I would have gone after if it weren’t for tech. I kept walking and got inside the building and it looked like an old DOD building and again no one was wearing masks so I was playing avoidance. I walked down a hall and there was a chick giving a lecture with these other chicks sitting on these beds against the wall and it was some tactical thing I was supposed to be in so I thought about taking a seat, but again no one wore masks so I went towards the door to the stairway and this guy that was evaluating the lecturer offered to open another door that just led outside, and when I went through saw a lot of fences and asked which way was the exit. This asshole makes a comment about doing the work to figure it out and I’m like dude, I’ve been looking for my car all night, and he slams the door. So I keep walking west on this fort road and eventually the fence runs out to a residential street.

I cut through this area to the main road and there’s a lot of people, and food trucks, and this one black chick with purple braids grabbing everybody who walks by asking if they’ll get her hush puppies and when I walk by I’m trying to gtfo as fast as possible, but she asks me and I’m like sure, and walk up to the food truck then remembered my wallet is in my car, apologize, and explain really quick what happened. I offer to get myself sorted and come back and then I’ll get her hush puppies, she’s giggling and pulls my arm so we’re off to the side of the building and says I risked my life without even knowing it because I cut the line at the food truck. I had no idea. We were standing in a doorway and a dude from the sidewalk earlier was there, and this one other guy was making Jell-O shots and spilled some of the liquid all over my shirt so I started walking off and that’s when I woke up.

I was staying temporarily at some house and my bathroom had a standing shower like the last place so I went to the other bathroom that had a really nice tub and was gonna clean it to go shower. I was going back and forth and chatting on the computer or tablet in the group chat with Sabrina and Sarah or a private channel I had where I was testing scripts out but accidentally threw a script into the polycule chat, nothing happened but I was concerned it was going to confuse or upset Cass since she doesn’t code and would feel like she wasn’t in on something. I just closed the client down and went back to what I was doing, opened a closet door and saw this beautiful custom cabinet inside with wood carving and a water color painting of a woman in a hanbok.

There were little touches through the place that told me whoever owned it was Korean and either a historian or just rich or a Korean weeb or something. I was hitting you up online and you temporarily had a feed up from your apartment, you had an apartment in addition to the house where you kept things for various projects and it was backlit in various spots like the ceiling with pretty lights, and I was trying to coordinate with you but you went afk. I wasn’t sure if you were going to come to me and I didn’t know where your apartment was since I hadn’t seen it irl yet. Then I was working on some project, some huge scrapbooking thing and after putting a lot of time into this thing accidentally fucked it up and tore a page and was so aggravated I decided I wouldn’t work on it anymore for the day and would come back to it since it wasn’t due yet.

Josh was working on one and had gotten up, he already had a more simple one completed as a backup and was doing another more intricate one, oh and Selena Gomez was sitting at the end of the table and I was going to say something but when I faced her she looked annoyed so I changed my mind. There was some other bit earlier where I saw my rotc friends at our current age and there was some awards ceremony going, there were rows of desks and computers like this was inside an office building in one part of the floor instead of wide open with a stage on the other side and someone ran up and asked me if I knew I had been demoted to L3 and I was like wtf? They can’t do that, I’m L4 and went off to find a computer I could check at. After that I was back at the house I was in temporarily and had stripped to go shower (I gave up on the bath?) and forgot a towel and something else and turned the corner to go back and grab it but when I opened the door it was to the outside, and I remembered that door going back to the bedroom and was rushing back around while naked going w t f, all the people rushing from point a to point b didn’t seem to notice me though so I just focused on getting back after resolving the disorientation. I made it in and hopped into this large tile shower and someone was handing me a new nuva ring to swap out, when I turned to my left it was Bill handing it to me and me continuing the wtf? train, grabbed it and said thanks while confused and got out of the shower. I don’t remember what happened next but woke up around here.

Been going through some dietary changes to try and help some autoimmune symptoms, and was a little too relaxed with it over the last week and have been trying to recover for a few days. Had to become more restrictive and was starting to feel better so it was surprising to wake up from a dead sleep in a stupid amount of abdominal pain around 5am. I couldn’t remember the dreams prior but the ones after were busy and chaotic as usual.

The only part I can remember was seeing Jösh. It has been quite a while since dream Jösh has visited. I was so mad and angry at you, your absence cause a lot of Umbrella Academy level world ending shit to go down and then you showed back up without any explanation. I was dealing with my parents and some other crisis when I finally caught up to you. I wanted to scream and unload everything I didn’t realize I was still holding in. You were exhausted and sitting on the floor with your back against the wall, and despite the rage I just sat in your lap and kissed you. I wanted to touch you, I didn’t think it was ever going to be possible again and I couldn’t believe you were here. I could tell you were confused but then didn’t care when you kissed me back and that’s when you raised your arms to hold me.

Even in dreams I know this is off, and that I’m likely to never see you again.

Had a bad dream involving a gigantic tsunami, I went up to the 28th floor or the building I was in and the water still surpassed me, surprisingly the glass didn’t break on impact but I think some other buildings in front of the one I was in slowed down it’s impact by the time it got to me. Scary.

I had a dream there were a bunch of pizza boxes stacked in the kitchen in the house I grew up in. I opened the boxes to see what kind they were and a couple friends were behind me so I was like oh help yourselves. I ate so. much. fuggin. pizza in that dream o.o

I was out somewhere after a work thing and covid was a thing and wasn’t a thing so some things were closed like restaurants but everything else seemed normal. I had Lucas (Josh’s son) and Josh and his fiancé Shay we’re elsewhere and were supposed to come back to get him, I was in some huge lobby and a mutual acquaintance said she’d take him and I was like okay cool, and was coming down the stairs and couldn’t find my phone, my bag was a mess, I was a disheveled mess, wearing a red jacket I owned irl as a teenager and don’t know what happened to it irl

I walked into what looked kind of like the QFC in Capitol Hill and saw Jösh and we kept missing each other in the aisles and I finally caught up to him, we were in some room that looked like a b&b and got into a fight, I threw my bag at the wall and some things spilled out so I went to look under the bed and there was so much random stuff but I struggled to find my things, went around the other side to keep looking and pulled out two different gen pink Motorola razors that were still on and operational but not mine and I threw them at him to catch, there were so many pairs of sunglasses and other stuff, and when I gave up I sat up and buried my head into the mattress to pause before just leaving and he got up to sit near that spot on the bed so he could comfort me and I could lean my head against his chest and all I could think was the only comfort comes from familiarity and habit but this absolves nothing and solves nothing and got up, then the owner of the pink razor from before showed up and she was this incredibly possessive blonde chick, like looks kind of a lot like Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn but in some pink dress that matches her goddamn phone and I was like okay cool ima grab my shit and go, and she wanted to fight me! I said they looked happy which was great and made me realize I really didn’t want anything to do with anything that’s going on there. She was fucking nuts, like narrating what was going through her head and how she thought things were going, like breaking the fourth wall to a crowd that’s not there and she came at me so I punched her and the fight kept going until I got on top of her and kept punching, won, got my stuff, and left

In this mornings dream dad and I got into a fight at some rural gas station and I got mad and walked outside so he left me there without saying anything. I didn’t have any cash on me and my phone had 4 hrs left on the battery. Tried calling mom and she wasn’t answering. Somehow made it home (different map) and went to my room to grab things and he came in with a gun so I went into the closet with my own gun and shut the door waiting for him to try and open it. He blew the door open with explosives instead, when I realized it was about to go off I moved to the back and after I didn’t know where he was at and retreated.

Crazy dream I was in some pageant as a follow up from being at this place the previous year. I was in this dark red dress (red dress with a black mesh layer over it), jewelry, and when I was trying to finish up and head downstairs for some reception I couldn’t find any makeup in my bag. I’d forgotten to pack any makeup, or hair tools, or the right necklace even though I packed a few of those. I didn’t have time to run to a Sephora for an eye kit, it was maddening.

I guess this never dressing up and wearing makeup thing is starting to influence my weird dreams. >_>

Had a dream I went to lunch in some place in AZ and saw a couple people were around and weren’t wearing masks. Then suddenly the place was packed and loud and no one was wearing a mask except for me. I had to pass this one table to leave and this chick just stared at me so I started this rant about how Japan never had to shut down and controlled their numbers because everyone wore a mask. She said the whole thing was stupid and a hoax, I shut her down saying she’s not smarter than the CDC, she’s not smarter than WHO before clearing the area and then stormed off.

Fffffffff

Weird ass dreams I got my job at the CDN back but I wasn’t in the same org and was an infrastructure architect and was at a thing last Saturday and wasn’t happy about having to work a weekend, but was supposed to give a talk that didn’t happen and had a bunch of liquid soap for some demo and was like… I’ll just give it to the kitchen and they were all thanks and dumped it down the drain on the spot, and was back in Seattle and it hit me where I kept thinking I didn’t want to relocate back to Arizona but they had a regional office in Seattle… right? (I think they do irl or I know about the colo here anyway) but I’d just saw Ben here and he is still an architect there for real, and I don’t remember ever going to AD even though I stepped foot in the office, and when I logged in it was still giving me credit for 18 months tenure and I was like that’s weird… last time I was here for 2 years but shrug then ended up at some company related party but it was some rich people house party and someone gifted me this huge fucking thing of Swiss milk chocolate and it started to melt in my bag so I grabbed it and was trying to figure out how to carefully unwrap it without a bunch of melted chocolate getting everywhere.

Then some lady came up and was asking me questions about how long I’d been here and I kept thinking 2012 but knew that was wrong, and was like… wait that was Vegas and that was 2013, I moved here in 2016 and she took me for a walk across the street and mentioned she had a huge dog that acted like a puppy and I was all excited until he came up because he was this giant st bernard that kept jumping up on me and putting a paw on my chest cause he was all excited and I almost fell, she had to tell him to stop. We kept walking and then I decided to wander on my own and sat at a table, there were a bunch outside that were setup for the event and then I saw you standing behind me looking around so I called out your name, saw you had friends at a larger table and got up to meet you and they were finishing up and getting ready to leave, I was upset that all this stuff happened and I hadn’t seen you the entire time, then sat down and remembered an earlier part of the dream where Elvis tried to kill me in a parking lot and everyone was like w t f? I explained he was like Jailhouse Rock era Elvis except dressed like Johnny Cash, wearing all black and he had John Wick’s car, and I had no idea why any of the above was a thing. I was so stuck on not knowing what to do come Monday with the job and woke up.

Woke up from a nap about trying to order a birthday cake. It’s been impossible to find a gluten free cake in the area and a friend pointed out a bakery up north that makes custom cakes with a $5 up charge for gluten free. They’re only open during weekdays from 7:30am – 1:30pm which makes them difficult af to get at, but I haven’t been in a hurry because I’ve been incredibly indecisive about what to order. I haven’t been able to pick out a cake in almost a decade and don’t want to make the “wrong choice,” not like there is one but it’s a rare occasion that probably won’t come along again and as much as I love chocolate… flourless chocolate tortes are easy to find so I keep going towards a white cake with buttercream or something like that.

Anyway, I dreamed about this ordeal in a nap earlier today. I had gone to visit the bakery in person to try and place an order (haven’t been irl so my brain assigned a coffee shop near the local courthouse) and was waiting to talk to someone about options. I wanted advice and I wanted opinions on what the best flavors were. Half way through they had to go deal with some emergency so I wandered around and came back to the counter, there was a chick to my left waiting by the espresso machine and I asked if she was waiting to order and she said she was. I mentioned trying to knock my order out for weeks and someone got me half way through before bailing and asked if I could just finish it up whenever someone came back and she was like yeah whatever.

Someone else comes up to the counter and I try to pick up where I left off and tried to pull a screenshot from my tablet and it brought up a picture of someone’s butt, their legs were in stockings and it looked like some burlesque promo. For a sec my brain ran through the following: that’s not what I meant to pull up, oops, is that me or someone else? This has to be someone else it looks like it’s for a show. Idk. I opened the image gallery and was finding some random photos from earlier in the day I had no memory of. Photos of my knees? A hospital gown, then a brown dog in the back seat of an suv. I mentioned I was still trying to find the reference screenshots but had no recollection of the photos from earlier in the day, like these were major memory lapses. Thr chick behind the counter said “sometimes that happens after the procedure,” and I was all what fuckin procedure? And I woke up around here.

Idk if I’ve ever gonna order this belated bday cake. ._.

Bad dream mom needed surgery behind her right eye that could kill her. It was so invasive she might not wake up after, or might go in and out of consciousness but would never be fully alert. Other option was to let it be but her time was limited. I hate dreams like this the most.

Dad was pissing me off in a dream, we were still in Vegas and he was going to crowded places without a mask. Idgaf if he suffered the consequences but I was livid he could take mom down with him.

Maaaan was that an aggravating and exhausting dream.

Just woke up from a random nap, I was in a hotel room trying to figure out a murder and some chick was down on the bathroom floor. It was like a virtual crime scene that was previously scanned and you could walk through it, touch the robe hanging on the bathroom door and feel the fabric, look around and all that. It was interesting.

There was another part where Jösh and I were attending the same gala event and idk if we had planned on coming together or if we ended up in the same town, like he knew I’d be in attendance and decided to go. Before the event we had decided to leave the hotel we were at in separate Uber’s and pretend to not know each other, and he’d interrupt someone else talking to me that I wasn’t interested in but was being polite, and then would proceed to hit on me himself.

Jösh showed up in another dream earlier this week out of nowhere, also involving technology. I was rewinding security footage to see what happened at a building earlier and saw him retracing the steps I took after I’d been there earlier.

I haven’t dreamed of him in a while, I guess he’s just in my subconscious this week.

After only being able to sleep for 3-4 hours at a time for a couple weeks, the anxiety dreams are going for straight nightmares. String of nightmares where I was trapped in a hotel room with my ex in Phoenix and was making me go through my phone so I was going through an Amazon or Etsy wishlist while hooked up to hdmi on the tv. He went to the restroom and my assaulter came out acting like everything was normal and my brain was like …wtf? Did I just hallucinate he was my ex? Then I excused myself to the restroom and just paced in there trying to figure out what to do.

Woke up exhausted to delirium and went back to sleep.

Next dream I was in some house I was apparently staying at and there was a black bunny hanging out in a cage that seemed really friendly so I opened the door and waited for it to hop out. I noticed there wasn’t a thick layer of Timothy hay in there and could see the bottom of the floor. The bunny came out and I held him and then went out back and chilled inside a little tiny… Idk what to call it. It was like a low hammock inside of a three wall wooden box thing and the bunny splooted and was napping on me. I heard a lot of noise and saw a bunch of what I’m guessing were high school or college peeps gathering in the yard (it was a big yard) and took the bunny and went back to the porch. I was wearing a tshirt and underwear and this lack of warning was not cool.

Some people were sitting in lawn chairs facing the yard and I sat next to Sabrina. There was another chair to her left, and then another chair with some dude who looked kind of like my neighbor (the one I’ve had trouble with since I’ve moved into the townhouse I’m in). He turned to face me and said “hello again” and I responded “hi,” and thought why is it people who don’t like me see me when stupid shit happens? I went back inside and into another room to find my thing so I could get dressed and go, some I’m guessing primary school aged girl comes out of the room and said something and then headed for the yard. I was looking at this gigantic mess of stuff haphazardly thrown into these cubbies, okay it looked like a white IKEA Kallax shelf or something. I grabbed a sweater thinking it was mine but it wasn’t so I put it back, then opened a cabinet to my left above the counter and saw some tea but it had been rummaged through and all the good stuff was gone. I remembered there being more tea and thought maybe they removed it as a passive aggressive way to say I’m not welcome anymore.

I woke up still deliriously tired and exhausted.

Next dream was stuck in a house I didn’t recognize working from home and it was taking calls from GoDaddy but w current coworker was also there. We generally get along but also butt heads sometimes. The equipment wasn’t working, I was rusty dealing with hosting stuff, this was some weird issue for a thing (that doesn’t even exist irl) and apparently the cinoaby had been auto risking this guy for a month and I was the first to get through and he was trying his best to be nice and patient with me but was running into MFA issues to fully get into the account and I needed to put him on hold and couldn’t do it through the software and the physical phone said he was on hold when he wasn’t. I got up to try and find the colleague who was acting as a lead and when I got back to the table in the corner being used as a desk there was a gigantic fucking spider.

I mean it was like a cross between a crustacean and a goddamn face hugger. It was the size of a snow crab, all white legs that looked like skeleton it was bone white and a little body in the center, and it was fast and I tried to be brave and kill it. It crawled up the wall to the ceiling and then charged and dropped. Got back to the ceiling and dropped, and did this over and over. It was trying to land on me and I noped out and went upstairs to try and find someone. Went into the bedroom and found my mom’s friend’s daughter I hadn’t seen since the 90’s. We were both adults and she was in the bathroom wearing a mask and looking in the mirror like she was ready to go out in clubwear. I legit thought cyberpunk before I went oh yeah you need a mask to go out. She came out and laid on the bedroom floor next to where I was sitting and chatted a bit about how she was super sick from getting dysentery and discussed all the severe symptoms and I was like ._. umm, and then was talking about how I shouldn’t leave and we need to hang out and I was like… I’m oncall until 11pm and I’m in the middle of a goddamn fire at work and gotta go sorry, and exited the room to the hall and almost fell because I didn’t remember that step down.

Then I saw mom’s friend (I can’t even remember her name I haven’t seen her in like 20 years) and then I saw my mom and explained the spider thing and they went downstairs, then I went downstairs after a minute and the last two or three steps were broken. I could see the the wood splintering up from where it had fractured and there were holes you could see though to the crawl space underneath. Made it downstairs and Mom’s standing right outside the kitchen and says “that was a big spider!” I asked her if she got it and she was like almost. Jfc. We’re back in the first room and it’s chilling on the baseboard and she goes after it, it runs, and she tries to step on it and fails, it goes across the floor and somehow she kicks it and then stomps on it and it’s dead and she picks it up with a paper towel and that’s over.

Colleague sat at the dining room table and has two ceramic baking dishes filled with pasta and sauce lopped on it to the side. One looks like spaghetti and meatballs and the other has a creamier color to it almost like a vodka sauce or even what almost looks like a chicken tikka masala. He starts digging into the one by him and dumping spaghetti on his plate and mixing the sauce into the pasta. I realize the other dish is a gluten free version and thought it was nice he went through the trouble of making a separate one for me. I start wondering about that guy and his impossible case from earlier. Was he still on the phone? Did he hear me screaming while trying to manage the spider? Is he still on the phone waiting now?! Did my colleague tell him he’d research and call him back? No one told me anything so I don’t know.

Colleague says we need to check on a thing and I follow him through these halls in some other building (I don’t remember how we got there). It’s nighttime now so the building has very few people. We’re sitting at a table in what looks like a break room (guessing based on vending machines being there) and are talking with another person. Toy stores come up and we mention FAO Schwarz. He was talking about the one at Scottsdale Fashion Square, I tangented to Superstition Springs mall and how they had that and the arcade and the carousel. I talked about how my dad’s best friend had a son who was 5 years older than me and the dad used to babysit me sometimes when my parents were at work. We’d go to the movies and then browse around the toy store. Colleague asked me what I wanted the most from the store or if I had any favorites and I said no. He asked why and I said because I never expected I could ever get anything so while I looked and enjoyed being in there, I never set my heart on anything. I almost brought up running into the son later in college and him trying to hit on me (this did happen irl and it was weird af) but decided to leave it.

He apparently got the thing we came for and we turn around and start heading out. There was two people standing inside a doorway in a hall I’m passing (it has one of those doors split in half where you can open the top half and the bottom half is like a counter) and outside it is a bin. I looked in the bin to see what was in there a paper slipped out of my hand so I grabbed it and kept walking to catch up to my colleague. We ended up back at the house and were exhausted on the couch talking when he rests a leg across me and I’m like wtf.

And I woke up and am STILL deliriously tired and exhausted.