I’ve been wanting to write about this but kept putting it off, I regret not writing about a few things when they were fresh in my memory, but I’ll try and capture what I still have. And it’s not like it was a long time ago, it’s just been hectic with a lot going on since then so it’s hard.
Our polycule decided to go to Bass Canyon along with a couple friends in our camp. I had to do a lot of risk assessments on deciding whether or not to go and had a lot of internal distress and conflict over my choices. In the end I didn’t want to not se my partner for a week and then isolate from my polycule for two weeks after, meaning not seeing them for three weeks total while also having the biggest FOMO of my life, and I’ve gotten better at dealing with fomo over the years but this would have been awful. We’re all also vaccinated and I’d already gotten a booster by then and also planned on wearing masks in the shuttle and around the crowds, so I tried to focus on harm reduction and what we could do that was practical. In the end I also had to accept the risk that if any negative consequence came from this choice I’d have to eat it.
I spent Wednesday packing and Thursday we all arrived at the bf’s house to coordinate, get the big items packed, and then caravan out towards The Gorge. We had our vehicles numbered with paint and we planned how we’d enter the venue so we’d all be camped next to each other. I was concerned about heat during the day and tried to prepare as much as possible, when we got to the venue and our cars were queued in the lines, there were so many lines it looked like a parking lot, we got out and set up a canopy with chairs in between car one and two in our group so we had shade and beverages and mister bottles to stay cool until we saw the lane next to us start to move and then we broke everything down and got back to our cars to get to our camping spot. I’m glad we went VIP and got premier parking so we had lots of space and were all next to each other, our cars on one side and a fence on the other.
Once our campsite was setup (we had two canopies tied next to each other and tents all facing the center) we had dinner, my meta was kind enough to do a bunch of meal prepping if we were able to chip in some cash and she brought a butane stove and equipment. We had bbq chicken and green beans and potatoes, her bf brought marinaded steaks and we devoured everything. It was the best meal during the entire event. We were tired but decided to check out the Thursday pre party and walked over to the amphitheater. With how dark parts of the path was and this also being my first rodeo at this venu, it was a little tricky. I prepared a clear backpack and had a small flashlight with me so I had that out and available going forward. The bf and the meta squared’s friends and I ran around and enjoyed the evening then eventually headed back and I crashed out in the tent, bf was with meta that night.
Friday:
The next morning I woke up early but it was too bright for me to stay awake. I grabbed the overnight oats the meta made for me, they all had our names on the kids since she gave us flavor options and mine was a chia/flax alternative since I can’t currently do oats. It was still more starch and fiber than I was used to but it was tasty and dense. We hung out that day playing games, making kandi, eating, I’d still brought whatever snacks I could that were safe for me on this restricted diet. Some of us went to the amphitheater in the afternoon and then came back to eat and then get ready for that night and then went back. Half of the group decided to roll, one of the meta squared’s friends decided to alter and I joined since it was a favorite, after considering it’s a new environment and my first run outside at an event and with a crowd, but I was with my group and decided to go for it. It was definitely different, I was more alert and within reality than usual but I understand set and setting are a big part of this. Our group would split and rejoin throughout the night going between stages. The bf and I spent a lot of this time at the main stage and he brought the poi I got him for Christmas and also the lightwhip meta squared got him and I got pics and video. Meta and meta squared were being super cute and I got some pics of them too, I took a lot of pics Friday.
And a funny thing I commented when entering the venue to the bf was I was wearing less clothing at this event than I had at fetish balls, and I’d been to multiple. I mean, that’s acceptable at both events but this was something I found amusing. I was also more focused on function and not overheating than on festival fashion but it lined up. It was also difficult because I was healing a tattoo during this time, which wasn’t supposed to happen. I was scheduled with a tattoo artist that was visiting from South Korea three weeks prior but her time estimates day off weren’t good and she had to reschedule me to the Monday before the trip, and this journey started Thursday. I really tried my best, I had isopropyl alcohol in a little spray bottle, paper towels, and the right lotion in my bag and was tending to the tattoo often. I also made sure to shower every day I was on site, but it was still a struggle and another factor in making this a harder event.
When everyone got together again in the pit we were all head banging and having the greatest time when Sullivan King was on stage. The meta was checking on me and we had an interesting moment, she had not been in this state for a few years while dealing with other things and had commented to the bf about him missing this version of her, carefree, empowered, happy. She explained to me in this mode she felt like a goddess, she felt sexy, and she was a little concerned about taking her clothes off in public since that was her mode in private. She’d done a test run with the meta squared prior to make sure everything was kosher. I told her what she was describing on x was on par with me on y, and she said the bf had mentioned that to her. We’d had a conversation earlier in the year to reconcile our relationship and have been rebuilding our friendship, but this was really the moment where I felt like we were seeing each other eye to eye as equals. Equals in confidence and self assurance, inherent value, understanding, love and respect. It was a powerful shared mutual experience that has stuck with me. I have a lot of love and respect for her, I’ve seen the work she’s put into herself, her life, and her goals.
I got tired and decided I wanted to go find a place to sit and then have the group find me after the show when it was time to head back. This other couple saw me trying to get through the crowd to the exit, and the dude asked me if I was trying to get out. When I nodded he asked if he could go ahead and push through a path for us and I nodded again, and the chick he was with grabbed my wrist and pulled me through like I was a toy bunny. We eventually made it to the incline up the hill and they asked me if I was okay, if I was with anyone, where I’d like to go. I told them my people were back in the pit and would come find me. They took me to the fire domes with the benches and I chilled on a bench while they cuddled on the grass, and I let the group know where to find me. There was another dude sitting by me on the grass who was also altered and he had a really cool molecule tattoo on his forearm so we all started chatting. The chick asked if she could give me a tattoo and I was like whut? She then explained it would fade in a week or two and I realized she was talking about henna so I was like sure. She drew a huge windy flower on my left thigh, and then her and dude decided to take off and go find food. The other funny thing was while we were walking from the main stage to the fire domes, she’d mentioned not knowing she was going to this event until the day prior. Apparently she met this dude a week prior so this was a super new budding thing, and I hope it’s going well for them. They were really cute and nice.
Eventually my group came for me and we took the shuttle back and bf stayed with me, meta and meta squared were together. I think there was some midnight silent disco thing going on some of them went to but unsure. I was really happy to have an intimate evening with the bf, I was achey and trying to manage with my script muscle relaxer and edibles and he gave me some body work before escalating. I remember looking out one of the screens because it was down and seeing moonlight and kind of giggling at myself, like it was dark out and I don’t think anyone could see anything unless someone cutting through near the fence got nosy but we zipped it up. I crashed pretty hard that night.
Saturday:
Saturday we got up and meta made the bacon wrapped tater tots she prepped and also made waffles. Then her and I went to the showers together, previously I’d walked with meta cubed cause she had scentless soap I derped and forgot to pack, but meta and bf hooked me up after that. The meta was very transparent with me about being concerned about comms between meta cubed and I since meta and I had a rocky history last year, and her and meta squared aren’t doing so well. I assured her that wasn’t the case, meta cubed offered to go to the shower with me and offered supplies, and I wasn’t happy with meta cubed’s decision to pretend nothings wrong and everyone’s on good terms instead of putting in the work to actually dialogue these issues out, because that forced all of us to pretend and it’s not my bag. It’s not meta’s bag either, I sympathize here. The line was long, but it gave us some time to chat and bond, and then the shower was so good. I made a joke to the bf later it felt like was washing off my sins from the previous night. The follow up statement was the necessity to sin some more.
The rest of the day was more kandi, games, going to the amphitheater in the afternoon and seeing VAMPA kick things off, then we went on the Ferris wheel because bf knew I reeeeeally wanted to check it out. Then we went back to eat and get ready, and by this point I was struggling because a lot of the options weren’t safe for me and I’d already cheated a little but didn’t want to add more stress to my system. The meta did not cook the items she’d prepped after this point and felt really bad about it, but we all understand how hard it was to do all of that labor while also trying to enjoy the event with everyone else. That’s a lot, aaand she was dealing with a broken toe. The entire group was going to alter and this was something that was new to me but I decided I wanted to experience with everyone else, I just had to delay my start until we got to the venue because I wanted to eat first. I split from the group and found carne asada tacos, then texted bf when to come find me so I could start. My timing with the delay wasn’t super great, shortly after getting situated we linked up with the rest of the group and it was their time to re-up so I joined them to be as close to group schedule as possible (this was my wish). We were at the side stage and I was suuuper happy to see Benda. Then we ended up back in the pit and this time it wasn’t great, my tattoo had been slapped three times (all accidents but hurt and was concerning), I was over it, and I decided I wanted to go back to camp. I told the group about my plan and reassured them not to worry about me and then started pushing through the crowd. When I was going up the incline this huge group got in front of me out of nowhere and I fell on the asphalt on my tailbone, I was so pissed off. A couple people ran up to check on me and one chick grabbed my hand to pull me up, they asked if I was alright and I said “yep” and kept going until I made it to the shuttle.
I let the group know what was going on, and when I made it back to my tent and zipped it up, that’s when everything kicked in, and it wasn’t a rollercoaster, it was a rocket leaving the atmosphere. This altered thing basically held back while I had a mission to get to my own space and as soon as I was secured it just went into full swing, and I was expecting to be around my people when this happened so it was really jarring. I’d been texting my good friend about what was going on since I was on the shuttle at the venue so I called her when I was at the tent, explained everything that had just happened, and asked about some safety things and best practices. This was not her first rodeo, she was familiar with what was going on, what I was experiencing, and reassured me she wasn’t concerned at the moment, but also had me text her the bf’s number so she could ping him and let him know we were talking and that she’d let him know if she felt he should come back to camp for me. Apparently my tone had changed three times within five minutes, and while what I was describing sounded really aggravated, my tone was upbeat and like I was having the best time of my life and everything was great. I found this absolutely fascinating. She also flipped this around from a meh and oh well make the best of it situation into a really good experience. Despite being far away and not being there in person, she was part of my experience and making it a great one. I was warm and cozy and comfortable, not concerned if I drifted off, and everything was fine. Eventually bf did come back gave me some more body work and cuddled me. This was something he’d mentioned wanting to experience with me, and was sorry things turned out the way they did that night with the tattoo and tailbone but was alright. I was bummed I missed BTSM but at the same time I was fine with it.
Sunday:
It was warm Sunday, I couldn’t sleep in due to the tent getting warm so I chilled in a chair under the canopy. We were tired, some of our group had gone to the midnight silent disco the prior night. I was trying to be very aware and careful about my needs and pulled back whenever I needed to, and jumped back in whenever I felt ready. We hung out during the day, bf and I did an ice run for the coolers. We tried to breakdown whatever we could Sunday afternoon to make the next morning easier on us but that meant getting ready and going back to the venue in the evening. I’m sad that meant missing SWARM but it happens. There was also the tiniest little bat hanging out under the top of our canopy. I guess the poor thing got separated from its peeps or got tired and couldn’t make the trip home so we tried to leave it be and let it rest until it was ready to continue its journey. It was a smol little fuzz ball, and we felt like it picked the right camp since this was the goth/raver/graver group. It was super windy all day and that poor thing was hanging on pretty tight. I was pretty drained since I was at major caloric deficits due to circumstances, so when we got back to the venue I found a burger stand and ordered two patties and two slices of cheese, defaulting back to carnivore survival. It did the trick and I felt a lot better after eating, we tried to head for the main stage then but it was so windy I couldn’t deal with it.
When I checked the weather app I saw wind was 17mph and bf was like yeah that’s extreme wind. We went down to the side stage and setup a blanket by the fire domes (which most water in the day time instead of dancing fire btw) but the wind was picking up so bad I was curled up with my head in my lap. I said I was going to call it and head back to camp and had a couple requests, 1 can I get a little body work before I go and 2, can they text me if the wind calms down because I might want to come back. Bf worked on me a little bit and then I headed to the shuttles. When I got on I saw a bunch of people waiting outside the gates and found out the venue wasn’t letting anyone else in at the moment due to the wind, and when I updated the group on it they mentioned the main and side stages stopped due to the wind also. One of the friends back at camp mentioned everything got knocked over from the wind and I said I’d help when I got back to camp. It was really bad, the canopies were bent and I think one was destroyed. I tried to sort through what I could while friend was also trying to break things down, and I snapped a pic of the destruction and the rest of the group was on the way back. I was in such bad shape from being in the wind and dealing with dust that I apologized to the friend and said I needed to tend to my tattoo, he said no worries. So I went in and tended to it, then passed out. They decided to break everything down except for the tents, I also had everything ready to go in my car except for what I had in the tent since I had to leave early for some obligations the next day. After getting everything sorted and the venue opening back up, the group went back to the venue but I stayed behind and caught up on sleep. I’m so glad I did this, bf came back and snuggled with me, and I woke up early Monday morning to head out before the rush. It was so cold and windy that morning I didn’t want to leave the warm tent and the cuddles, and I get why people were in onesies and large hoodies and fleece pajama pants that morning.
At least everything was pretty much ready to go, I told bf I was taking off and drove to Enumclaw, filled the gas tank and got caffeine, texted the group where the best gas price was and kept going. There was almost no traffic until Snoqualmie which I appreciated, and even the Monday rush hour wasn’t too bad. I think the rest of my camp got out around 9:30 and it wasn’t too bad for them either.
I was exhausted, and by Monday night my throat started bothering me. I was pretty sick for a week after that, and so we’re the two friends that joined us. Somehow bf, meta and meta squared did not get sick and I’m glad they were spared. The three of us who did get sick got tested for covid, I did a rapid and then followed up with a PCR, both were negative. This was some crazy viral pharyngitis that turned into a secondary sinus infection I had to clear with doxy and I was not happy about it. I’m mad people still go to these things sick. I’m glad it wasn’t worse, but it was rough, and again I knew whatever happened I’d have to eat it. I questioned my decisions all that week. I wish I could have skipped the “wool flu” at the end, I’ve never gotten “con crud” so wtf.
Overall this was an amazing experience I’m glad I got to share with everyone. I don’t know if I could handle another four day camping music festival like this again. If I were to try it again I did learn a few things I would do differently and prepare differently/better next time. I’m used to multi day festivals where I have a car and a hotel I can go back and forth from at my leisure and where there are a lot of food options. But I also understand the benefits of the premium camping site and being able to do it all on foot or shuttle when dealing with a remote location. It was worth it.
