Been going through some dietary changes to try and help some autoimmune symptoms, and was a little too relaxed with it over the last week and have been trying to recover for a few days. Had to become more restrictive and was starting to feel better so it was surprising to wake up from a dead sleep in a stupid amount of abdominal pain around 5am. I couldn’t remember the dreams prior but the ones after were busy and chaotic as usual.
The only part I can remember was seeing Jösh. It has been quite a while since dream Jösh has visited. I was so mad and angry at you, your absence cause a lot of Umbrella Academy level world ending shit to go down and then you showed back up without any explanation. I was dealing with my parents and some other crisis when I finally caught up to you. I wanted to scream and unload everything I didn’t realize I was still holding in. You were exhausted and sitting on the floor with your back against the wall, and despite the rage I just sat in your lap and kissed you. I wanted to touch you, I didn’t think it was ever going to be possible again and I couldn’t believe you were here. I could tell you were confused but then didn’t care when you kissed me back and that’s when you raised your arms to hold me.
Even in dreams I know this is off, and that I’m likely to never see you again.