Is it still day dreaming if it’s in the middle of the night? I can’t sleep tonight anyway.
Listening to Portishead’s Insensible and “planning,” going over things I’d like to do, or try to pull off.
It’s surprisingly not painfully lonely right now, maybe it’s the music, or the promise of tomorrow. The promise of a few weeks from now..
I’m still sad when it comes to the necessity of dishonesty. From either side. Even if no one else ever knew, even if no one was ever hurt, I still know. I still have problems not living honestly the way I want. I can’t rationalize it, or justify anything, just accept that I am making exceptions for my own selfishness. I don’t feel bad for anyone else, but I’m not happy with myself right now.