After only being able to sleep for 3-4 hours at a time for a couple weeks, the anxiety dreams are going for straight nightmares. String of nightmares where I was trapped in a hotel room with my ex in Phoenix and was making me go through my phone so I was going through an Amazon or Etsy wishlist while hooked up to hdmi on the tv. He went to the restroom and my assaulter came out acting like everything was normal and my brain was like …wtf? Did I just hallucinate he was my ex? Then I excused myself to the restroom and just paced in there trying to figure out what to do.
Woke up exhausted to delirium and went back to sleep.
Next dream I was in some house I was apparently staying at and there was a black bunny hanging out in a cage that seemed really friendly so I opened the door and waited for it to hop out. I noticed there wasn’t a thick layer of Timothy hay in there and could see the bottom of the floor. The bunny came out and I held him and then went out back and chilled inside a little tiny… Idk what to call it. It was like a low hammock inside of a three wall wooden box thing and the bunny splooted and was napping on me. I heard a lot of noise and saw a bunch of what I’m guessing were high school or college peeps gathering in the yard (it was a big yard) and took the bunny and went back to the porch. I was wearing a tshirt and underwear and this lack of warning was not cool.
Some people were sitting in lawn chairs facing the yard and I sat next to Sabrina. There was another chair to her left, and then another chair with some dude who looked kind of like my neighbor (the one I’ve had trouble with since I’ve moved into the townhouse I’m in). He turned to face me and said “hello again” and I responded “hi,” and thought why is it people who don’t like me see me when stupid shit happens? I went back inside and into another room to find my thing so I could get dressed and go, some I’m guessing primary school aged girl comes out of the room and said something and then headed for the yard. I was looking at this gigantic mess of stuff haphazardly thrown into these cubbies, okay it looked like a white IKEA Kallax shelf or something. I grabbed a sweater thinking it was mine but it wasn’t so I put it back, then opened a cabinet to my left above the counter and saw some tea but it had been rummaged through and all the good stuff was gone. I remembered there being more tea and thought maybe they removed it as a passive aggressive way to say I’m not welcome anymore.
I woke up still deliriously tired and exhausted.
Next dream was stuck in a house I didn’t recognize working from home and it was taking calls from GoDaddy but w current coworker was also there. We generally get along but also butt heads sometimes. The equipment wasn’t working, I was rusty dealing with hosting stuff, this was some weird issue for a thing (that doesn’t even exist irl) and apparently the cinoaby had been auto risking this guy for a month and I was the first to get through and he was trying his best to be nice and patient with me but was running into MFA issues to fully get into the account and I needed to put him on hold and couldn’t do it through the software and the physical phone said he was on hold when he wasn’t. I got up to try and find the colleague who was acting as a lead and when I got back to the table in the corner being used as a desk there was a gigantic fucking spider.
I mean it was like a cross between a crustacean and a goddamn face hugger. It was the size of a snow crab, all white legs that looked like skeleton it was bone white and a little body in the center, and it was fast and I tried to be brave and kill it. It crawled up the wall to the ceiling and then charged and dropped. Got back to the ceiling and dropped, and did this over and over. It was trying to land on me and I noped out and went upstairs to try and find someone. Went into the bedroom and found my mom’s friend’s daughter I hadn’t seen since the 90’s. We were both adults and she was in the bathroom wearing a mask and looking in the mirror like she was ready to go out in clubwear. I legit thought cyberpunk before I went oh yeah you need a mask to go out. She came out and laid on the bedroom floor next to where I was sitting and chatted a bit about how she was super sick from getting dysentery and discussed all the severe symptoms and I was like ._. umm, and then was talking about how I shouldn’t leave and we need to hang out and I was like… I’m oncall until 11pm and I’m in the middle of a goddamn fire at work and gotta go sorry, and exited the room to the hall and almost fell because I didn’t remember that step down.
Then I saw mom’s friend (I can’t even remember her name I haven’t seen her in like 20 years) and then I saw my mom and explained the spider thing and they went downstairs, then I went downstairs after a minute and the last two or three steps were broken. I could see the the wood splintering up from where it had fractured and there were holes you could see though to the crawl space underneath. Made it downstairs and Mom’s standing right outside the kitchen and says “that was a big spider!” I asked her if she got it and she was like almost. Jfc. We’re back in the first room and it’s chilling on the baseboard and she goes after it, it runs, and she tries to step on it and fails, it goes across the floor and somehow she kicks it and then stomps on it and it’s dead and she picks it up with a paper towel and that’s over.
Colleague sat at the dining room table and has two ceramic baking dishes filled with pasta and sauce lopped on it to the side. One looks like spaghetti and meatballs and the other has a creamier color to it almost like a vodka sauce or even what almost looks like a chicken tikka masala. He starts digging into the one by him and dumping spaghetti on his plate and mixing the sauce into the pasta. I realize the other dish is a gluten free version and thought it was nice he went through the trouble of making a separate one for me. I start wondering about that guy and his impossible case from earlier. Was he still on the phone? Did he hear me screaming while trying to manage the spider? Is he still on the phone waiting now?! Did my colleague tell him he’d research and call him back? No one told me anything so I don’t know.
Colleague says we need to check on a thing and I follow him through these halls in some other building (I don’t remember how we got there). It’s nighttime now so the building has very few people. We’re sitting at a table in what looks like a break room (guessing based on vending machines being there) and are talking with another person. Toy stores come up and we mention FAO Schwarz. He was talking about the one at Scottsdale Fashion Square, I tangented to Superstition Springs mall and how they had that and the arcade and the carousel. I talked about how my dad’s best friend had a son who was 5 years older than me and the dad used to babysit me sometimes when my parents were at work. We’d go to the movies and then browse around the toy store. Colleague asked me what I wanted the most from the store or if I had any favorites and I said no. He asked why and I said because I never expected I could ever get anything so while I looked and enjoyed being in there, I never set my heart on anything. I almost brought up running into the son later in college and him trying to hit on me (this did happen irl and it was weird af) but decided to leave it.
He apparently got the thing we came for and we turn around and start heading out. There was two people standing inside a doorway in a hall I’m passing (it has one of those doors split in half where you can open the top half and the bottom half is like a counter) and outside it is a bin. I looked in the bin to see what was in there a paper slipped out of my hand so I grabbed it and kept walking to catch up to my colleague. We ended up back at the house and were exhausted on the couch talking when he rests a leg across me and I’m like wtf.
And I woke up and am STILL deliriously tired and exhausted.