I haven’t been able to touch Adrian in over a month. I haven’t seen anyone in over a month. I’ve been isolated intermittently since the beginning of the year due to multiple illnesses but really haven’t come out since February except to see him a couple times, and not at all in March except for an unavoidable store run. Other than being out once in March, I haven’t left home, haven’t seen anyone except for virtually. I’ve appreciated the non contact drop offs from delivery options, and loved the presents my friends dropped off at my front door for my birthday recently. It meant so much even though we couldn’t get together in person. I finally hugged mom after keeping distance for a few weeks to play it safe. I miss everyone. I miss all my friends, I miss hugs. I miss touch. I am so touch deprived and I aches. Most of all I miss Adrian. We game together online, watch shows together, and video chat which mean so much to me. I still miss him so bad it aches.
I see Adrian in my dreams more than I do in real life.
The circumstances are different this time. But that doesn’t make it any easier.