This is a huge and ongoing life lesson. I’ve had to learn to let go of a lot of grief, anger, and heartbreak when those I’ve been madly in love with, and who were madly in love with me couldn’t meet me on the bridge. I’ve learned it doesn’t diminish or nullify what we experienced and it’s okay to love from a distance. I have not kept fear in my heart to step on that bridge again, even though I’m still unprogramming occasional feelings that truly good things are fleeting. Sometimes I am afraid I’ll wake up and discover all the wonderful things that have come into my life were just a dream, which confirms what I’m holding close to my heart, and that I still have work to do so I can relax and feel secure within myself. None of this doubt has come from external sources recently, it’s residual from the past and I’m slowly and steadily unfucking myself. I’m learning to not worry about making longevity a focal point and to put being present and in the moment first. I’m also grateful I can walk in this world knowing I will find that love in many forms. There will be many “loves of my life,” and we’ll find each other on the bridge in time. Just some unfiltered unformatted things I’ve been thinking about for a while.
