Closure is rare, messy, and never what you expect… if it ever shows up at all. Confirmation this morning that would have devastated me a year ago, or a few months ago, was welcome news today. Idk how to describe this feeling, I might experience an emotional rollercoaster for the next couple days, but this is the closest thing to closure I’ve had in years and I feel like I just exhaled.
Once upon a time I wanted to be the one, but it’s genuinely okay that I’m not. It’s better this way. This hasn’t mattered for a long time, the stress and loneliness has exacerbated heartbreak for way longer than it should have lasted, even if it ebbed and flowed despite my efforts to move on. I couldn’t speculate and kill myself anymore. And the part of me that’s been stunted for the last few years made a move towards catching up with the rest of the progressive I’ve had over time.
There’s not enough investment to hate, or hold anything inside other than indifference. It is what it is.