One of my worst nightmares (that I’ve thought out a while back) just woke me up. Long dream with lots of stuff on and then I was in an suv on auto pilot while in the passenger seat in a ball gown (it was my birthday and I was upset I couldn’t ge my make up right when I needed to the most). I mean it was a long dream but I was trying to get to a facility to get a flight out to Phoenix and was at a military base. I ended up in the wrong spot by a dock, it was dark and there was no one by the gate, I had to get the vehicle to turn around and hopped into the driver seat but it backed up too far and off the doc into the water and started to sink and as soon as I backed into the water thought “NO.” Like my worst nightmare just happened and this is how I’m going to drown and die. It’s sinking and I try to unlock the door and before opening it I’m wondering if I have time to call 911 or if I can articulate or if they can find me in time or if I need to try to get out or if I’ll sink in the ice cold water in this gown and just woke up holy fuck. I’m trying to not cry and I feel ridiculous. That level of panic that I was about to die very painfully is awful.
In the earliest part of the dream I can remember I was basically Buffy but still looked like myself. I was still me, and was returning to my hometown from somewhere, no idea where. I was dead and couldn’t remember where it was or what happened there, and was in a dark blue floral summer dress (almost like one I own irl) and I was trying to find Casey (someone I was acquainted with years ago) but couldn’t find him and waited inside some cottage like place? It was warm inside, like warm hues you get from a fireplace or candlelight but nothing was on fire. And someone else came around and said “he better not be in there” and I realized it was in reference to Spike. I was there alone until this red headed chick came to get me, I forgot her name but it started with a C.. Chelsea? Maybe? And I got into a black carriage and Spike was inside to take me home and as we got closer we saw people coming up to the street to yell at us when they realized he was with me. I couldn’t remember why I was annoyed with him but put my hand up to his face and kissed his cheek cause he looked absolutely miserable from the reaction he was getting and wasn’t even fighting it.
I was wandering around in one of the halls in my high school in a blue gown and don’t remember what happened there. I’m missing a lot of the middle but there were bits like it being my birthday and putting on this light bunk floral gown that was kind of heavy and I was supposed to go to a thing, and people were prepping for it and there was a bunch of food. I thought I was all set to go and realized I wasn’t wearing any make up, like I still looked good but with the fancy af cake dress I could have done better so I went to grab my makeup bag and stood by the mirror. Then I was somewhere else and was frustrated I couldn’t get it right when usually it’s easy. The one time I really really cared it was just a disaster and I had a melt down and my mom was in the house going wtf, and then a friend I know who works at Sephora irl came out of another room and walked off before I could hit her up. I wiped the make up off and tried a second time and was like fuck it. Wiped all it off again and went with a clear face. It was dusk then but when I went outside again it was midday and it was bright. I was in a car and got turned around, realizing I was on the wrong side of the Mexican American border but was in line to get back and had my passport on me. And that’s when it got dark and I was in another suv and shit got bad. It was really scary.