Just had a dream I had a 6 year old daughter named Hannah. Earlier in the dream I thought I was going to die in labor and it was so bad I blacked out so I couldn’t remember it. The ob also mentioned something about vaginal seizures every 5 minutes and I thought he meant spasms but he insisted seizures, and “tattooed” markers at different points in my vaginal canal where the seizures caused muscle spasms so wtf ob. She was so itty bitty at first and then she was growing up fast. She was the best thing that ever happened in my life, my everything. I couldn’t even remember labor at all other than some vague understanding that it was difficult and I probably couldn’t handle another one even though I could tell I was asking myself internally “…or could I?” Maybe it won’t kill me, I don’t rememeber it being so bad. And then looking at Grandma and a couple others at the table chatting and thinking things would get uglier. And Hannah was sick with a cold and everything was nuts, I had to travel and didn’t want to leave her. Grandma and I were not on good terms (it wasn’t my mom and idk if it was MIL). I don’t remember an SO or anything. I just woke up mid dream and am so exhausted.
Of course I woke up in the worst shape in forever. Full blown fibro flare. I thought this stress was gone now.