Monthly Archives: October 2017

Had this awful mixed up dream with all this crazy stuff going on but the last part was this lady coming down with her guards or whoever behind her examining the group she captured.  We were sitting in a circle, and while we all looked human I don’t think everyone was.  She went around saying welcome and would touch their shoulder or knee as she did it.  When she got to mom she said welcome and touched her knee, then her calf really roughly and a couple other spots (her legs were elevated in some wheel chair bed thing, and the lady had some device in her hand and punctured mom’s left leg so deep.  She was hemorrhaging blood, the lady filled a cup with it and dumped it out, then somehow passed me because I was further back in the circle and kept going.  I was freaking out inside, how do I get her to a doctor, we need to leave now. And that’s when I woke up.  So nauseated.

From a nap:

I was walking up to this bridge in a neighborhood that looked like some pedestrian overpass and noticed some cop suv and wondered if I’d been spotted, then had the sudden feeling I was being chased like I was some replicant… but that’s a metaphor since those aren’t real, but I was being hunted for something and was ignorant on why.  I walked onto the bridge that was in poor shape a few feet ahead with broken white brick under concrete and about a two feet gap where you could see the road under it.  There was grass and other growth on and around it. I jumped across the gap and ran off the bridge as some of it crumbled behind me.  There was a police dog chasing me and I ran through a suburban neighborhood into a building that appeared to be large enough to be a high school?  I ran through the hall and looked behind to see the dog, looked behind again and saw the dog at it’s starting point when I’d gotten further and realized I was seeing decisions and movements seconds before they actually happened so I could adjust my path accordingly, and ran outside. I was in yoga pants and running shoes so that made it a bit easier, but also realized in the hall I was willing myself to go faster and started to question the outcome or if I was human.

I woke up in bed but the room was arranged differently where the bed was close to the wall with the door to the bathroom so there was space for a sitting area on the opposite wall,  got up and noticed the items on top of my dresser, walked into the bathroom and noticed some standing water in the tub, and went to the sink.  I walked back into the bedroom and stared at the mirror for a minute and moved it and started playing with myself.  My anatomy looked different in the dream, less compact.

I woke up in bed again in a darker room (suggesting it was night time) even though the first time was pretty dim too, and noticed my bed was in the center of the room with a tv on top of a stand to my right.  There was a controller next to me and when I grabbed it realized it was a wireless PS4 controller and I’d forgotten to turn the console off.  Got up, walked to the full length mirror on the corner, noticed something seemed off but wasn’t sure what, and walked to the opposite side of the room where the window was to look out.  I didn’t recognize the city, the buildings were huge and different, there were so many solar panels, and so many things on roofs that looked like capacitors, but they were larger than building AC units.  It was like living in some area where the topology was designed to look like a motherboard.  It was disorienting… I noticed the two large capacitors by my other window and got this uneasy feeling like.. what if those exploded?

I woke up in bed again in a room set up more like the previous one and laid in bed for a minute before getting up and sitting in a chair facing the mirror.

I woke up for the fourth time, and now I’m writing this out.

Woke up from this dream I was dealing with a couple coworkers from the east coast office and some storm was rolling in. The sky had that dramatic divide like when a haboob ones through and you can see where the blue sky disappears from the vertical wall or dust, only these were dark gray storm clouds.  I was in the car waiting for Andrew to get in and realized my backpack and a bunch of paperwork were in the passenger seat so I started to move everything to the back and when he opened the door, sat a box of assorted donut holes down, and helped. I grabbed a couple of glazed ones looking for a chocolate one and ate them, he grabbed the box and I was all waaaaait, and he asked if I was sure about that and I said yeah, I’d deal with the consequences, referencing the gluten. And I grabbed a chocolate one and devoured it.

I was sitting in the backseat and one of my coworkers from Scottsdale was in the drivers seat and I said to pull over since it was my car, and he did and I got out to take over but we stopped in this building we parked outside of.  It had wooden walls and a few coworkers from other companies were there.  I saw Todd and he seemed pretty out of it on the couch.  I looked out the window and watched the clouds.  A couple other guys came up to look and when I looked at the window again the clouds were mostly gone.

I went outside and most of my belongings were on this bench on the sand that was slowly ending up in water, or the tide was slowly rising so I was trying to gather everything quickly before the water rose too much. And it was taking too long so I pulled on the side of the bench towards me, it moved forward and I fell on the sand.  Then grabbed my bag.

Sabrina was going through this experimental surgery where she needed a small piece of my spine, like around my tailbone or maybe the very last vertebra, and I didn’t remember discussing prior but was going along with it. She’s been dealing with repeat surgeries irl life and is waiting on a third soon for a separate thing.  And he was prepping her and I asked if I’d be going under anesthesia and the doc made some quick comment like yeah, I guess we would switch you two out so you can go under. And he wheeled Sabrina out and I kept getting increasingly nervous as I laid on the hospital bed, and my spine hurt, so I sat up.  He’d already done something to it but I wasn’t sure if it was just a check or measurement.

My in dream assigned bf tried to talk me through and keep me calm, saying everything would be okay.  He’d gotten the doc to do a body mod for him and Idk when they even had time but there were inserts under where his eyebrows were to exaggerate them and make it seem like one large eyebrow and when I looked up again he went from normal to looking like a cyclops and I couldn’t look up after, and got nauseated, and looked up again and he still had two eyes but one was more pronounced than the other and with how his hair was covering one some of the time it kept up with the illusion.  I almost called out Futurama but left it and walked outside.

There were a bunch of scene peeps like there was an event going on and a lot of them were dressed up with the corset + ballgown skirt or fluffy skirt combo and falls. Dream assigned bf was normal again and looked a lot like Brendan which was weird.  We were chatting and it’s like I knew what he was about to say that he wished so I said if this were back home I’d have more pull to make the event happen but I wasn’t really connected here. And then a lot of the girls started coming back and seemed distraught, one chick who has the same name as me walked past and looked very upset, then went in some door to another room… but we were still outside?  Violet said she was going into shock.  It was weird, they all had performed in some burlesque like thing and a majority has been involved in the goth or fetish scene for a while, some have been in the sex industry, and whatever they all got back from doing killed them all a little inside.  I felt awful for them, but especially the one who walked away since this was her thing she usually took pride in. And dream assigned bf was all don’t feel sorry for her and started to nitpick at her, and I explained knowing her from back home, and this worrying me because of how I knew her.

We sat on a bench while more people walked by, mostly in steampunk attire, and this one lady with short light blue hair walked over and started enthusiastically talking to him without even addressing or acknowledging me, and that was annoying.  So I injected myself into the conversation , “hi!-“ And she was all “oh, we’ve met before,” so I responded “it’s so nice to see you again,” even though I didn’t remember her or know her name, and we exchanged some superficial pleasantries and she said something to me in Chinese and I was all, “oh I’m Korean,” and she was all ahh, smiled, and walked away with her older friend.

I realized we’d been out for a while now and mentioned getting back to check on Sabrina, and had been wondering how the extraction would go, and how would he yank it out or what care would he take to keep my spine intact. And then I mentioned, if he messed up, I’d be paralyzed after a certain point and wouldn’t be able to walk again.  I was walking very slowly up to the door back into the facility and felt awful cause I didn’t want to go through with it but felt obligated even though I didn’t remember a prior discussion before the doctors visit and didn’t give any prior ageeement, and woke up.

Just woke up from from a dream there was a mass shooting at work.

All the conversations leading up to it seemed so real too in some bits. I was in a small office surrendering access to an old system since my team moved to a new platform  and Eric happened to be there with a clipboard going over names of who still had access and by this point it was only our org anyway, and I made some joke to the lady behind the counter while making the submission (looked like hardware pickup in one of the buildings)  and then was outside some huge park in the evening and there were a bunch of us, like the holiday party but some
other event and I was talking about Chevelle and how I either just missed them in the area or am about to and need to see them and Eric just saw them at some music festival and I was all all sheee, and started talking jimmy eat world and other bands when someone started firing down the road and people started screaming.

We got up and left and I followed him and we started hearing machine guns, he started messing with this gate lock and we were in this grassy area, some oblivious guy in like a park ranger uniform was all what are you doing? And Eric explained something unrelated and he was all oh and we walked to the back where there was some deck, and patio furniture with umbrellas. And we sat down and I noticed other people there nonchalantly hanging around like nothing was going on, and there was a tv on but it was silent and I was looking at it to figure out the time and see if the news would come on cause I left my bag and phone when we were in a hurry and couldn’t call anyone or respond if anyone checked on me.

And woke up… right before 3:30 in the morning…

So sleep deprived lately…

We took an elevator that started to tumble, like it was not only falling but the way it was falling meant we were standing on the floor, then a wall, then what was the ceiling, etc, until it finally stopped.  We fell two floors and then the door opened and when I got out it immediately shut behind me and I started freaking out because you were still inside.  The ground floor opened up to a grocery store kind of like the WF here, but it was different, and I started yelling for help, then ran to an office where there were people and started explaining what was going on, and they were about to make a phone call when I turned around and saw light blue T-shirt at eye level, and looked up to see you were behind me in the doorway. And I was all, nevermind, he’s here!

And someone else in the room said something and addresed me and I came inside really quick to look at a board on the wall they were referencing.  Someone in there called me D.Va and I’d forgotten I was giving a fake name. Then I heard someone else call my real name and was all … and I walked out to find you outside by a red van and you were standing next to it waiting for me, wearing my Harajuku lovers hoodie and asking if I packed a change of shoes to go play since I was wearing slip on flats, and I was all yeah.  It was sunny out and we went to a park, you mentioned volleyball and I said that was bs for anyone over 6’ to suggest cause I’m hella small and you mentioned some Fitbit volleyball thing like Fitbit became the new Nintendo Wii or something. And after running around the park we were in some residence but Idk who it belonged to, and started setting up characters in a game that looked like Overwatch but not exactly. When I got further into setup I was by myself and forgot you were there and woke up.

Had a normalish dream where nobody died  for the first time in a while.  I was in the house I grew up in and was trying to sleep but the kid I was babysitting wanted to keep showing me things and play, and it was so early.  Which is funny cause it’s not even 6am yet and I’m typing this.  Finally she said she was hungry and I said she could fend for herself with breakfast and she made some dramatic statement and walked off.

I was thinking about what day it was and when my friend Shelley was going to visit me, then went downstairs to find Sky, my friends niece (the kid I was babysitting).  I started telling her about when my mom started telling me to fend for myself and start cooking and she didn’t want to hear it, and how it encourages variety and you didn’t have to be on anyone’s timeline.  G was there and walked out of the kitchen with this look that said “good luck” and I decided to take Sky grocery shopping in this really weird right hand drive white Mercedes with white leather seats and… like everything I’d never buy or drive, but I think it was a rental?

She started talking about how she wanted to grab those pre peeled and cut packs of vegetables cause she didn’t want to deal with all the prep and I said it wasn’t that hard, and some of my kitchen skills are potato quality but better than they used to be from repetition (omg).  And we were inside this huge store running through produce and I picked up a mango and was walking around with it in my hand.  We saw someone who was walking by that looked familiar and it was Dustin! And I was all wtf why isn’t he in SLC? And then saw you behind him and was all… ???

You both were in winter gear and when you both saw us decided to come up and say hello, and I decided to walk right up to Dustin and was all “hello!” And we all started talking and you gave me some awkward side hug and then Dustin asked how Dawn was doing and I said fine (my dream traded Sky for Dawn) and asked where you two went and he mentioned some crazy mountain hiking trip he decided to go on, and then you decided to do it to, and you both just got back from being gone for a while, and I was all… ahhhhh. And then I was mad you left for a long trip and didn’t warn me ahead of time, and started eating the mango in my hand, and then was all, we should get going to Dawn and we left, and I was driving the weird car and woke up.

My brain has decided dream you went on a long trip out of the US, and you forgot to tell me.  I’m not really sure this is the right way to cope brain.  You’re implying he’s coming back… I don’t think he’s coming back.  All because I’ve had some things implode and needed some time to get sorted.. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it that this was what did it.   Brain, thanks for trying anyway. *sigh*