Went to Jimmy Eat World and Incubus this evening with wifey. It was a great show and a nice little drive out of the city. Saw Ivardensphere and VNV Nation last week… Echo & The Bunnymen and Violent Femmes right after Vegas.. Counting Crows and Matchbox Twenty in Vegas, Michelle Branch before that, The Birthday Massacre… Bush, DSTR (Daniel Myer), and Velvet Acid Christ, and earlier this year was Orgy and Powerman 5000. Some of these shows were super random and last minute, some were planned months ahead. I had no idea I’d see all this at the start of the year.
And a bunch of others are coming to Seattle too, Voltaire and Bella Morte, Lords of Acid, My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult, Front Line Assembly and Cubanate, God Module, Lights of Euphoria, Zola Jesus, Poppy (lol), Chelsea Wolfe, Ministry and Death Grips… and that only goes till the end of November. So Glick is a pretty good site to keep up with shows that are coming to town (and I just found it). I doubt I’ll see most of this, and only have a ticket to one of them, but more happens here than I realized. I kind of wish I’d put more effort into Depeche Mode and Lady Gaga this year but wasn’t feeling big arena shows, and the price tags were insane this round. *shrugs*
I’d rather focus more energy on travel than shows but I’m kind of grounded with my pto getting depleated, so I guess I’ll enjoy things locally while I wait, and I’m taking a train to Portland for the weekend next month so that’ll be fun.
Now that I’ve rambled the trivial things out of my mind… I’m still processing things. I am sad. I am so sad about how painfully touch deprived I am and how much that impacts me, and how I haven’t even tried to seriously date anyone, but trying to establish a fwb type thing has always still been a disaster. I mean, I don’t want to keep you, I just want to do things and call it good. And people are so selfish and stupid. And I thought someone had their shit together enough to try something and got burned because they were ignorant. I’m so so sad. For my health. For whatever the future is going to look like. I don’t want to be touch dependent like a normal human. I don’t want to be so deprived, and I don’t want to settle for anything. I want to be self sustainable so bad, and I’ve tried to front that for so long and it’s tearing me down.