I’d really been wanting ice cream the last couple days and had t had a chance to grab any. Lately… okay the last few months, I’ve been getting this weird daunting feeling sometimes when I want to go out and do something… like grab ice cream. Like if I go out I’ll get hurt, it’s the similar feeling I get when I remember the end of 2012. Colder weather and the sun going down earlier doesn’t help. I know it goes down super early here during the winter. Anyway, it took me a couple hours to build myself up to go out, and I did, and it became a disaster. I already knew I was cutting it too close to closest time but decided to give it a shot and went to my nearest light rail station. Usually if there’s a bus before the light rail, I’ll take it cause it always stops at the next station, and I was in a hurry. Tonight I learned that only works going south. This time I was northbound and the bus skipped the next station, got on the freeway, and I discovered I was on an express bus to another town. So I got off at the transit center and tried to figure out what to do next, I was sitting at a stop, alone, in the dark, which was the last thing I needed with fb mental state I’ve been in. I posted online so people would be aware, then decided to uber to another ice cream shop a friend recommended (that was still open) and wifey offered to meet me there. So we met there and I got her ice cream, and then she got me home safely, which I am grateful for. I am so upset that I even get like this and that I alters my behavior, makes me deviate from what I’d rather do, or make me rush into something after having trouble leaving my apartment. I know this was self inflicted pain, but I didn’t want to just stay in and miss out on what I wanted. I’m so frustrated.