12:24AM – Caution

I feel like I am constantly having to learn, and relearn, and rebuild myself.  Keep and improve what I like, unlearn the traits I don’t want to keep for myself.  Try to go after things and not be fearful of a poorly placed investment… be willing to keep taking calculated risks, keep taking chances on others.

Jay taught me what I didn’t want.

Josh taught me what I wanted, and could go after if things were right.

The one will be someone who exhibits the things that I want in my life, and that I also exhibit  for them.  The only difference this time is they must also be available, and ready to leap with me.

I can’t believe this person is a Jewish chef, who appreciates my counter culture, who also travels, who is also in my industry, and is really fucking smart. This almost feels like some cosmic joke. This terrifies me.  It seems like there’s always a catch, and while I’d feel foolish to not continue exploring this… I always feel like I’m damned if I do and damed if I don’t.  There will always be disappointment and heartbreak somewhere down the line.