I’m so tired, exhausted, and sleep deprived from this week and it’s still going. So I decided to try and catch up a little today after my alarm went off at 7 and couldn’t pass back out for a while. Then I guess my body finally realized it could give up the fight for a little bit and I fell asleep hard. The dreams were weird and messy, I don’t remember a lot of it. But there was a bit where I was in bed and heard the construction from the floor under me, and the guys yelling instructions from outside the window. Like the floor under me was the second or third instead of higher up. It was more like a controlled demolition than a remodel and I was nervous because my bed kept feeling different, like it was tilting at different points and I was worried about my floor falling through. I looked out the window and saw it was raining hard but it was still bright outside so I considered between this and the construction maybe I’d work from home today. I grabbed my phone to call the property manager and ask them to check on what’s going on and ensure nothing bad happened that shouldn’t but I wasn’t able to bexcuse I was too tired. I peeked an eye open to the left and saw something standing facing away, like I saw their butt and legs cause they were naked and I fell asleep. Then I felt someone near me and clutched my phone close and shoved it into a little pocket of blankets in cawe I needed it, and I felt someone warm kind of half ass embrace me and it felt nice, and I felt their face in my hands and couldn’t tell who they were and it made me nervous so I gently pushed them away and scooted to the other side of the bed in a gesture they should lay down (and only lay down) while trying to figure out if the building was partially demolished and anyone could get in. There was someone else there too and I wasn’t sure what was going on, but when I could finally open my eyes someone opened the bedroom door and walked out and it looked wrong. Blue painted walls and not nearly done, there were still some white bits that needed to be painted over. It didn’t look right, the furniture was different idk.
I eventually woke up in what looked like a hotel room with Daniella and she was curling some other chick’s hair. I was sitting at the vanity and turned around to see which product it was and when I looked in the mirror I had a few locks curled on the left. My hair had pastel blues and purples, and I tried to brush it out to get more of a wave going. I wandered a hallway in a house and realized someone could hear me and that I wasn’t dressed so I went into another bedroom and some kid (like teenager) was sleeping in there and he woke up asking if it was me and I was all yeah? And was relieved he apparently did know me and he offered to let me crash out on his floor by him. There was another small bed against the wall but he was on the floor on blankets, I guess to stretch out or something. I sat up with my back against something I can’t remember and we chatted for a minute. I went downstairs to a breakfast thing my tower was hosting, and figuring out where to sit was getting weird with my friends and a newish friend who was acting kind of hurt when I was sitting with them instead, but I wasn’t trying to be exclusionary. I tried to scoot down so she could sit with us but idk where she went. The tables were moved so they weren’t all next to each other and I was trying to figure out why they did that and saw goth mom sitting behind me. And in front of me we’re these very elaborate goth chicks, like wave gothic treffen goth or however you spell that. I kind of wished I’d dressed up but then changed my mind cause of other stuff I was doing later and they were being elitist so I was all these people are a waste of time.
I ended up in a dark space and idk if it was space or the bottom of the ocean but I couldn’t see anything and it felt like I was slowly falling while going over stuff in my head. The worse I felt the worse I fell, the darker it got. And then I got to a point where none of it mattered, and I felt less emotionally heavy, and everything illuminated and it was bright and yellow and orange and glittery. It looked like enlightenment from the movie The Fountain. I could see all of the other creepy things that were around me, waiting to attack me or eat me. And this light moved fast and was warm and I was feeling nauseated from it so I resisted a little and it dimmed, then I wondered if I smoked something earlier but couldn’t remember, then I decided to stop overanalyzing and resisting and let it flood over again, and I wished I could pull all the dark things surrounding me out of that place with me but realized I could not because their weight would hold me down, and it wasn’t just beyond my ability, it wasn’t my place to do it, and I left the darkness.