Tonight I was told that I give gentle hugs. Like I embrace but am very light. I’d never heard this before and for a second it felt alarming, then I explained how it was probably because I’m wimpy. And then I explained the fibro means not much of a grip sometimes, feeling weak and not having a lot of strength in my arms and they understood it.
But then I wondered how much of that was true, or maybe it was today because I happen to be flaring. I’ve glomped friends, and tackled you down to the bed, and maybe you just let me but still I have enough momentum to do these things. I wonder if it’s really depending on who it is and how my body is feeling at the time. But it’s weird trying to figure out how I felt at that time and if it seemed like my body was hesitant to embrace, like it wasn’t willing to give any strength there and gentle hugs are a thing. What flags are my brain firing that I can’t consciously see yet? What am I not seeing?