Why am I crying at 11:43PM? I guess cause I’m ridiculously exhausted emotionally/mentally/physically pick your favorite context, whatever. I picked up where I left off with Buffy and have been watching back and forth with Angel. I never watched Angel when it was running and missed the bits where the two played off each other, and got to the episode where he becomes human and Buffy is eating cookie dough ice cream and talking about peanut butter and chocolate in bed with him and I’m going omfg and you already know it’s not going to last but you can’t not take that opportunity because there it is… and then he had to give it back, and fuck that! And then he’s the only one who’ll remember it and I can’t tell if it’s worse to remember or worse to forget? That heartbreak. That felt like July. Or was it June? A lot of last year bled together.
Ugh, and I’m all sleep deprived and PMS-y and I can’t even. I finally got some sleep last night after the whole thing with floof over the weekend and it wasn’t enough. My body decided to go into maintenance mode, it was so hard to wake up and go to work today, I kept hitting snooze.. which is bad.. and kept falling right back into rem… which is also bad. Why can’t my body decide to catch up on sleep on the weekends? And I feel so shitty about everything that happened with floof and I’m glad he’s with a better foster, but I’m so sad about everything.
Trying to date fucking sucks, trying to adopt a dog fucking sucks, and being alone in a new city fucking sucks. Being alone in general fucking sucks, but I don’t have it in me to change that.
Was I cursed or something?