The right girl

Ughhh emotionally draining dream.  You were going  to marry Kristina and it was eating me up inside.  It was either almost the wedding day or it was the wedding day and we were all sitting on this large mat on the floor and I had all these marks on me that looked like lipstick stains.  Kristina asked how that happened and I legit had no idea, there was some conversation going back and forth and she said something like “you know who you should put a ring on?” And grabbed my left hand and pointed to my ring finger “This girl.  Right here.”  And I was shocked and speechless.  Kristina and I have been friends from work and acquainted for years, she wasn’t feeling what was going on with the plans, and she knew neither of us were going to speak up.  We were in the back of some car or in an uber or whatevs and it was snowing out, I watched the snowflakes fall and had so many mixed feelings,  I was excited and upset and grateful to her for pulling the plug and confused and hurt you weren’t saying anything or confirming one way or the other. I was sitting on a couch and you walked past to sit down at a kitchen table, you were wearing a dark robe and I was on my black one.  You hadn’t said a word to me, I wasn’t sure what was going on.  Were you no longer interested because you had “permission” to be with me?  Were you upset about Kristina’s honesty and that she acknowledged me? Idk.  I started thinking about logistics and how I already have some personal days and vacation, thinking about when I could come visit if you weren’t ready to visit me.  I thought I could just stay with you until I remembered your living situation and wondered if she was still there or if you were letting her stay theron as long as she wanted and who knew how long that would be… it’s like my brain switched it back to Anna without changing names.  There was no interaction from you and I thought at first maybe you needed time and then realized trying to make excuses as time went on was more of an attempt to help me cope than it was for your sake.