Discussion with Anne over SATC, Russians, food, and dreams:
I just woke up from a nap, Josh was looking up pizza places and since I wasn’t responding cause I was just happy chillin and listening to the list of pizza places he switched to sushi, and then the dream switched where it’s like he was looking over the phone for me and it was weird and sad. There was other stuff too like wondering if I walked to the preselected place if he’d be there, like if he’d just snuck into town, but it wasn’t like that and I was getting disoriented. And then there were other peeps and me in some small bed like maybe a daybed playing ps1 on an old crt tv with people who I guess were friends and this large dog was there and was super excited to see us, and I saw Sahar when I was walking outside trying to figure out where to go and if I’d see him there. I hate dreams.
It’s been bad lately and I want it to stop. I gave up irl, I keep losing him in dreams and I want it to shut up. It’s stupid and annoying. My brains been ruthless and cruel lately. Like the more I let what’s happened settle in while awake the more it holds on and won’t let go when I’m unconscious. Dream me won’t give up… and I need to be at peace with this so I can stop dreaming that I’m losing him.
I’ve been wanting pizza for days. I would take Josh with that pizza, but I got a better shot at making pizza appear in my life.