Idk why last night I was thinking about that one time I was driving mom home and she tried to comfort me by implying at one point I thought I was going to marry Jay and dodged a bullet. What she didn’t understand was he and I had been together for so long that I felt like it was just going to happen, and that I was settling… and was still never willing to make plans or pick a date. This time was different, this time I wasn’t settling. Giving up feels like I did.