My eyes hurt. Everything hurts, but my eyes hurt and are super red from not sleeping.
I was watching a thing involving Hawaii and thought it would be nifty to visit, then remembered your photos and realized I couldn’t do it. My friend in Japan is only stationed there for the next 9 months and keeps asking me to visit. I can’t. Every time I think of a place that sounds awesome.. as soon as I associate it with you I can’t do it. I think of places and I want you to show me things you liked there, or I want to find things with you like SLC. It can’t be helped.
I really wanted chicken mole from Blue Iguana yesterday, and couldn’t remember where I got it from at first. And then I remembered it wasn’t here in Vegas and was all… fuck.
I can’t manage my pain right now. I mean I’ve gone years without any real maintenance or medical intervention but now it’s become unbearable by myself. This outlet has become a dumping ground for me to vent unfiltered nonsense and bs. At least I see a specialist Friday (I hate talking about these kinds of things). I hate admitting it. I hate admitting I’m still coming to terms with everything and it’s destroying me.