I hadn’t been dreaming, or remembering them lately, so I was surprised to just wake up from one where you were here. We were laying in bed naked and kinda back to back, I think you were passed out and I rolled over towards you. You were waking up and made some comment about how you should leave and I was all why are you in a hurry? And you said it’d be bad if we were still up here when my dad came back and I was all ohhh, and asked “okay, wanna get breakfast?” all lyrical and smiley sounding like those chicks in Mexico lol. And you said sure and got out of bed and I giggled and told you how it’s funny to me this bed remained the virgin bed since I’d never shared it with anyone, and apparently we hadn’t done anything but slept. I told you about the bed I’m laying on right now irl, how this was the frame I picked out when I was 13 and moved out over a decade ago and came home and my parents held on to the frame for me. This is a black wrought iron frame, but in the dream it was a brass frame like mom’s bed.
So I went to my closet to get dressed and asked you what the plan was for breakfast. You said probably “IR” since you had to meet someone up in Greenfield or Sunnyslope or somewhere way up north in Phoenix and I was all okay, and put on a white dress with a cardigan and these teal heels I used to own back in the day and contemplated switching to a red dress I just bought, and you said we didn’t have much time, and I said I was quick and asked how long do you usually wait on me to get ready? My room was different, it was bigger but still packed with my stuff and I was saying how I needed more storage, like I needed more trips to IKEA and you said you could relate to trying to make small spaces work. And then we were outside and were walking and this chick stopped me to ask how some power outlet worked near a pool, like it was normally off in the area unless you hit the breaker but I wasn’t sure so I apologized and kept going, but had lost you. I turned the corner and was in this huge warehouse kind of like Costco but not as bright, and kept walking. All the check out lanes were blocked by carts or doors and I was getting frustrated and this one lady in a vest just watched me go from dead end to dead out without saying a word, like I was her entertainment. I yelled and then another lady who worked there helped me through. I was walking through the grocery store looking for you and happened to see Andrew C, so I yelled Andrew!! And he walked over with a few beer growlers. I’d lost you and he’d lost Elise, and my phone buzzed and showed some weather alert for dust and thunder storms. I tried calling your phone but you wouldn’t pick up. All I remembered was anxiety here. Elise eventually showed up.
I was sitting on the couch in the living room, in the house I grew up in. The curtains were pulled back and it was bright. I had been on the floor drawing earlier and it was a picture of these very cartoony kids saying something disconcerting, but I can’t remember what. Sahar was laying down on the other couch and I told her I was going to try and call you one more time cause I was worried you were dead or something. When I called you picked upland said “hello,” and I started taking and you could hear it in my voice that I was crying, and made some comment about “well you’re upset alright” and was super condescending. Instead of waiting for me you went on with our plans without me and I couldn’t find you or reach you, and you gave no fucks. I was in shock, and that’s the end of this morning’s dream.
Its just a dream, a fucking anxiety filled I can’t get to you bs dream.