I feel so sick, nauseated, brain fried, weak, teeth still hurt, still disoriented intermittently, woke up hallucinating last night and it was weird(er) and different. Sometimes I space out and feel like I’m out of my mind. I get chills then start sweating and have to take my sweater off. Every transition from sitting to standing, or standing to sitting down, causes my body to shake. I’m slow, it’s a trade off between my movements and my brain. Sometimes I stop then wonder where I just was. Or I notice these huge contrasts of momentarily feeling sharp and present and then getting fuzzy again. It’s Sunday afternoon and it feels like I’m being punished for no reason since I woke up with my blood pressure through the roof Friday night/ Saturday morning. This is beyond miserable, it’s like coming down from a bad trip that takes days instead of hours and you can’t sleep it off. I can’t believe one 30mg dose did this and the effects are this long lasting, or that I can be this sensitive to a drug.
I want to talk to you so bad. I want to tell you what’s going on because even if I know this is going to pass logically, emotionally it’s not sinking in and I want you to tell me it’s going to be alright. I want some kind of comfort and familiarity. Like some kind of emotional safety. I don’t want to feel so alone.