B: I am kinda defiantly winning
C: That’s good
B: oh crap its late
why are you up
C: I haven’t gone to sleep before one since he left
B: ah
C: Actually I’m usually up till I’m exhausted enough to black out around 3 or 4 something
And even then it’s not really sleep, it’s more like forced resting, then I still get up normal hours most of the time. And my eyes are paying for it, they’ve been stinging the last few days and they’re red as fuck right now
B: eye strain
do you have any melatonin
C: No
I have klonopin to help me stay asleep but have had no desire to take it
B: you need to sleep
C: I nap here and there
B: that is not the same you need long rest periods
its bad for the brain and the mind
C: I can’t care anymore
It’s not in me
B: probably because you are not sleeping
yah you need to sleep
C: I keep getting nausea too
And headaches
B: because you are exhausted and not sleeping
C: I don’t want to be awake but I don’t want to sleep either
I don’t want to do anything
B: naps are not sleep
sleep, take something and pass out for a solid 8
it will help
C: Every time I dream I see him, I can’t sleep
Every single time
B: if you dont sleep you will only hurt yourself
C: And every time I wake up I wish I was dead
B: then you should go for some help
C: I’m seeing a specialist on Friday
B: you can cause a psychological break by not sleeping
im talking therapy
C: I don’t know what to say
B: they ask you why you are there
you say I am not sleeping
they asky what has changed in life recently that may have caused this change
C: I don’t have it in me to deal with therapy
Or other people
I’m surprised I managed to schedule a damn thing
B: therapy is not something you deal with
its something you do to help, it is like food, or bathing
when my depression gets out of controll it keeps me up
I become insomniatic
you are depressed
but not eating, not sleeping, not taking care of yourself will not help you
it is only going to make things worse