Mel believes you’re my first, and while I disagree, I understand why she believes it. Just because someone was disingenuous with me, doesn’t invalidate the love I had for others in my past. Every love is different. But I know up until this very moment in my life, I have loved you differently. I have loved you the hardest. I have loved you the most.
I want to start off by telling you I love you and wanted to give you the best weeks possible. I was so focused on the moment and enabled these issues instead of trying to face the problems I knew you didn’t want to touch. I didn’t just want some short lived thing. And it’s funny how this has lasted longer than most people’s relationships. I wanted everything with you, I wanted a lifetime, I wanted to spend the rest of our lives together doing anything we wanted. And if I couldn’t be your first love, I wanted to be your last.
I thought you were the love of my life. That is hard to walk from, it’s harder to be near while it’s untouchable. I can’t move on while things are still like this. I understand you feel having anything less than our friendship feels like a loss. We are both taking losses today. I want us to end as well as possible, with only love and respect. So this is goodbye.