1:00AM

I can barely wake up in the morning, I ache, everything hurts, everything is heavy, it all stings. It feels like I’ve been crying all night whether I have or haven’t.  I’m hazy and distracted, distraught, dysfunctional.  Sleep deprived.  I keep hitting snooze, waking up from dreams every time, I’m dizzy, I’m nauseated, I can’t drive in the mornings anymore, and sometimes feel very close to crying for no reason.  Some days I can’t eat at all without the worry and feeling that taking this bite will bring everything back up, but there’s nothing because I haven’t been capable of any bites.  Some days I feel like I can’t stop and I’m making up for the previous day’s failure.  I’ve been nothing more than a shell, trying to go through the motions.  The last two weeks… need to stop.

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