Dreams where Jay are in them are always the worst. The lighting / my field of vision is always shitty, I’m always anxious, and things always feel wrong around me but I can never pin it down in the dream. I don’t even remember everything that happened except he was being passive aggressive and moody as fuck so I went to my room and knew he was going to eventually follow so I was sitting by the door holding onto the doorknob about to lock it, and it was some weird thin door with a bunch of holes in it the size of a pencil’s circumference. So it’s not like it was a screen door or anything… idk. When he walked up I knew I hesitated too long on locking the door and thought it wasn’t worth the bitchfest so I let him in. He went to lay down on the bed against the wall under the window, but with the way the room was setup he wouldn’t have been able to see the TV. It was on a low stand facing the other wall, it was almost like a coffee table and I was messing with either a DVD or a VHS player, I can’t remember other than it being old and bulky.
In some other dream I heard a noise outside and when I looked out the living room window I didn’t see anything, but when I opened the front door saw lines of people to the left dressed as goth’d out zombies with metallic paint, and a bunch of people on the right were all goth’d out. It was amazing, some event was going on the neighbors or the HOA coordinated and it was my thing, so I shut the door and ran upstairs to change. This was an unusually accurate replica of the house and neighborhood I grew up in. I went through my closet and kept going back to my tartan dress except it was a different one than the one I have, and then I kept circling back to this neon lime green and black cyber goth dress that was hanging next to the strapless black vinyl dress I do have irl. I used to love early cyber goth fashion when I first found it and there were subtleties of color, now it’s just ridiculously raver goth and the colors are no longer there as accents that pop out… anyway, I put on a metallic slip, the green and black cyber dress over it, had issues finding fence net stockings I wanted to wear with it, and kept reminding myself I’d have to go downstairs to the carport because I left my makeup bag in the trunk of my car. I looked in the mirror and it wasn’t working out. I don’t remember putting this on but I was in a dark red and black vinyl dress that was smooth enough to almost resemble latex. The dress was too fetish for what I was going for. I can’t remember all the stuff I dreamed after that, it feels like I woke up 12 times this morning and I’m giving up on sleep.