I’m binge watching Suits today. This week I got a raise at work and found out I was awarded a scholarship. That email came on August 8th and I hadn’t seen it for 13 days, then I realized that was in the middle of Defcon. lol I should be studying and maintaining my health and stuff. I haven’t really done much of either. I’ve broken physically under stress on Thursday, dealt with it, and finished the week out yesterday. I thought maybe I needed to do something different to reset and go back on a better routine so I looked into going out and found Kaskade was at XS, then got on the list, then was too tired to deal and just slept… and while catching up on sleep is important and good… lacking the motivation to do anything on my personal time is bad. I just had a couple of wins, why am I depressed? At this rate it’s not going to matter and I’m gonna fail. Wednesday’s deadline to test is impossible now. I need to pick another date and stick to it but I’m not sure what date is reasonable vs what I’ll take advantage of and continue to be stuck like this. I keep beating myself up about what I haven’t done previous days, decide when I wake up this is the fresh start and to take it day by day… then don’t do anything. I’m depressed about other things.. but I’m kind of over typing. Next episode.