Y’know on that rare occasion where you’re at lunch with colleagues or out somewhere or whatever and you look up and see someone and they have your full attention… and they’re 100% oblivious? That happened today. Tall guy with dark hair… and glasses? That’s cool. But whatever, he had my attention. We were signing our receipts and headed back to the office. Walking out I smiled and he didn’t even turn. It’s cool, I get it, I know I’m short and not that noticeable… even in heels.. even in this dress that shows off my awesome legs.. that’s cool, yo.
Not even 5 minutes later I’m back in the office and Grace says “Look at you! Last time I saw you, you were sitting down but you look great.” I <3 you Grace. Ty for the complement.
I’ve been in more pain lately. I think it might have been a combination of the sleep deprivation and weather lately. Right before it rains I hurt so bad, and then it rained, then it got humid and I feel ickky. I hate the days and weeks that remind me that I have fibro. I had the worst headache all day and it made everything ache by the afternoon so I got a massage after work… and was getting smacked in the face with endorphins.. and not in the good way.. like kinda good kinda bad.. like that exhausted overslept angry tummy feeling… I think the acid trip dream and the drunk dream are within the same week? I don’t think I wrote about the acid one cause I couldn’t remember anything about it other than what it felt like. A few days ago over the weekend, when I woke up and opened my eyes the room was spinning so fast I had to close them and put my hand over my eyes to block the light and stop the spinning. I made the mistake of turning on my left side and opening my eyes, the room spun again and I could see the wall I was looking at going over my head to my right side. I knew this wasn’t actually happening but something was wrong with my equilibrium and it was enough to make me worry about insta-vomiting… so I took a few minutes before sitting up and finally getting out of bed…. I didn’t realize all of this had been going on this last week. By the time I’m out the door I forget about it but these things seem to be stacking, and they’re all different and unusual, and these are all firsts… except the drunk dreaming I think I’ve done it previously except not as exaggerated and bad. I don’t remember motor skills and functionality being so messed up. lol
The second favorite fwb hit me up he was visiting Vegas in three weeks and I was all good for you, I’m going to a con then, lol. I think it’s just under three weeks now but whatever. He was all that sucks and then said perhaps he’ll visit the following weekend. I’m not nearly as excited about this as I would have been a couple years ago. Idk, I feel like I’ve been depriving myself lately and that’s silly, and it’s sweet he’d come and visit me. Seriously, I feel so special when friends come here specifically to see me, not just because they were coming here to party or vacation and I happen to be here so they text me as they’re driving in.
I’m going to face plant into a pillow and hope that when I open my eyes again the pain will be gone. ;w;