I’m kind of offended by the dream I just woke up from. It was weird, I think I was back in Phoenix for at least part of it. There was a stage with synths facing away from the stage, and Jay, Forge, and Theresa were on stage playing. And I knew she was hitting two keys on a midi while letting Cubase run through backing tracks. I was just thinking… how do they even know each other? He’s probably talking shit about me, and it was bound to happen someone I met years later would eventually meet him and he’d be able to say whatever he wants. I have to accept it and if she wants to run with what he says instead of asking me fine. I think she was supposed to be roommates like my brain made her Mandy was when we first broke up. I felt so bad, Mandy ended up renting the old band room and discovered he was a terrible roommate.
I was supposed to travel to Texas and marry Tyler. No idea why. But we were supposed to get legally married and then have some big wedding celebration with everyone else later. I was walking to some building and members from Hocico were walking with us. They were from Louisiana in the dream (they’re from Mexico irl) so I wanted to ask them to be there and didn’t get the chance to. I was in some reception area and my girl friends had gone ahead of me. I gave this guy my card to pay for my lunch and go in and it was taking a while so I said fine use this other card that was specific to the place I was in. He said I could cover pretty much everyone on the other card, but to use funds from my bank I’d have to transfer it’s data in. I said fine then use the card you already have access to. I walked around to a glass case and saw all these cute little truffles. Then walked around to the other side and sat at the bar and there were a couple guys behind the counter but it was like a truffle bar. So I started describing the truffles in the cases and other ones I had before that I loved and started going off on chocolate ganache and matcha cause I have this skill to describe tasty things and make people crave them.. like transferring my food or sweets cravings to others. I went up the stairs to some other place remembering the marriage thing and couldn’t figure out why I was doing this. Then I realized if it were Joshua I’d be all for it. I’d sign the certificate in a heartbeat. It’s like the whole fuck yeah vs. meh thing. It’s the whole if you can’t immediately say fuck yes about someone, or like if you aren’t at least as excited to see someone as you are when food is delivered to you, don’t do it. I asked myself why was I marrying Tyler and not Joshua? It was confusing. Then I started declaring I couldn’t do it. If it were going to be in a church in Texas the vows would be fucked up, they’d say stuff like sanctioned by god, or I’d have to be subservient because I’m the woman, plus all the other things I’m not okay with as an atheist and a humanist, and I’m very very far from fuck yeah with Tyler, it’s a fuck no. I don’t remember the last time I got to type out fuck so much for a dream. It’s kind of redeeming it. No… it’s still a terrible fucked up dream. lol