So many random details are going. The one that stands out is last night I had a dream I was having an abortion and Dr. Montgomery was doing the procedure for me. She had what looked like an internal ultrasound wand but it also functioned as a vacuum. This was so early it was like pre-first trimester, it was like the zygote was traveling down and hadn’t even implanted yet. Technically emergency contraception would have handled that before pregnancy was possible. And most abortions are early enough that pills are used before medical procedures. I don’t know, the details were weird, the cells on the screen were weird. This is the first time I’ve ever had a dream like this, and I’ve always felt I was pro life personally even if I am pro choice politically, because I can’t decide what another person does with their life or body, nor should I ever be able to.. I think this dream probably happened because over the weekend I was thinking if the last person I slept with knocked me up I’d be in a clinic so fast to term the pregnancy. He’d never know, I’d take the day off and just go. I might tell Mel. At least in the dream she was really nice and asked about my comfort, warned me when something was going to hurt, I felt pain in the dream, and when I was resting before leaving the office she asked if I wanted something comforting. I mentioned guilt and she said a couple things like it was a smart decision, it was super early, and said not to feel guilty. I asked her if she was familiar with Cookies From Home, and she said yeah but they closed. I said they used to be in Tempe but moved and were in the same area we were in. She said we could eat a bunch of cookies together and not think about it.
I just realized today is father’s day. wow. lol.
There were other dreams throughout the night like being locked in a room that had a bed against the wall and an old CRT TV on a small dresser on the opposite wall near the corner. Arguing with people. Weird stuff. I walked away from the computer and came back and forgot everything else. Ugh…