I was in Phoenix in some indoor thing. It was similar to the shops that connect Bally’s and Paris. Nothing like that exists in Phoenix. There were so many people and I was touring with this lady and this guy who was interviewing me. The lady went outside to smoke and I stood with her. We talked about this place and I mentioned how later in the year I was considering visiting LA but would come back for this. It was this convergence of all the fun elements I’ve seen from different festivals, events, conventions, people. There were people walking around outside in garb, and some other woman I knew in a green dress and the straps on her back made a pentagram.
I was leaving and in this car and the breaks were messed up. I pulled over into another lot to try and figure it out. Then it was some other car and this guy was with me with a couple friends. I mentioned going to Mesa and then figuring it out from there. He made some comment about having a bf there, which I didn’t. Then I was looking at this flight plan to New Zealand, like it was a last stop before going back to the UK and then returning to the states.
I was on a balcony in some pretty building, and when I looked down I saw Josh, and he was composing. He was composing in this wide open space and people with instruments and singers were all around, rushing around like they were ice skating or gliding through the floor. This looked almost like the Dickens fair.. except less fluffy and with a real floor.
Later I was sitting with my friend Jamie (old roommate) and talking to her about how he’s right there and I can’t even say hello. He’s busy in the crowd talking to everyone that comes up to him. Making sure he gets to everyone, everyone else. He looked so happy surrounded by the production and the music and now he looked like he was just exhausted, trying to keep up with obligations. All we ever do is ignore each other and if I walk up and start a conversation it’s going to be a problem, and his girl is not even here. She’s never around for these things. I just wanted to get close but it was almost some unwritten taboo. And if I didn’t approach him we’d never talk. Even though he’s never turned me down, he’s never started the conversation. He’s never said hello first.