Monthly Archives: December 2014

So um… Black Mirror is fun, and by fun I mean actually fun and terrifying. There’s the episode “White Bear” that already freaked me out from the start, the tones, the flickering from the TV and jacked up mooninite-ie upside down Minecraft creeper looking symbol.. the way everything tied in.  I was having trouble deciding which factors were more disturbing than the others regarding both details and plot, so thanks Black Mirror.  This episode also reminded of a reoccurring dream I used to have as a child where I’d be somewhere at home and would walk down the stairs in the dark, and would be overcome with this fear of needing to hide from whoever was coming after me.  There were red lasers coming through.  They were red dot scopes, they were going to kill me, and I would run into the kitchen and hide sitting on the tile floor with my back against the cabinets under the sink.  There were always red dots around me, on me, and I just knew that dot meant someone was aiming at me.  The perfect visual example would be Mark Benford’s flashforward where he’s loaded, confused, and there are people coming to kill him, except child me isn’t loaded on alcohol.  This reoccurring dream became less frequent until it went away.  I probably haven’t thought about it for 13-ish years up until this week… so again.. thanks Black Mirror. ._.

I wake up in your arms and say johan achim, saranghayo. You squeeze me tight and respond sukiyo. I wake up a second time but now I’m alone. This is worse than dreaming about repeated trips to hell through other dreams. I don’t know why this is happening,  I don’t know why I’m telling you.

I see you more in my dreams than I do in real life. I had no idea why you left such an impression on me from day 1 until I went through these archives, and I don’t even bother saying anything because I know how it sounds. I hadn’t posted them all here since I texted them as soon as I woke, and I think I’d be very heartbroken reading them here since they weren’t real. Maybe someday it’ll be real.