Since the last time I logged into this site… I forced myself into one major life change, but life decided to give me three. I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years, then I found a place to move, and then I was fired from my job. Strangely enough, I haven’t been in a state of absolute panic but I have been stressed out. I feel like I’m trying to keep pushing through without losing my sanity..
This was originally created with the intention to log dreams, and the last 72 hours has been full of some disturbing imagery for me, so lets continue:
Friday Sept 7th: Dream of yellow-green sediment colored octopus/squid thing wrapped around dead baby (only seen after octopus thing is shot in the water, near a pug, unravels itself and you see the last tentacles leave a bloody abdominal cavity as the body turns in said water) after reality goes off kilter and warps within the dream… I could take it as a bad omen.. I am taking it as a bad dream.
And right before that there was a line to enter a beach and ahead of me were two women in wedding dresses waiting to get married, waiting on their 2nd witness, and that part of the dream that freaked me out occurred in some smaller bit of water by a gate before making it to the beach, its hard to describe …
Saturday Sept 8th: Had a dream some really creepy bugs were around the bathroom vanity and tried spraying aquanet and lysol and stuff on them, failed, went out of the room and asked Jay to kill them but he refused. Then he decided to try and come upstairs and I said forget it and was holding onto the doorknob inside the bedroom while he tried to get in.
And this is part of what I hate about dreams, I realized I couldn’t hold a door shut he would try to pull open (and that’s backwards for most doors) and there was no lock in the door.
So he got in and I irately told him to gtfo and I already said forget it and to go to his room. He did and I kept wandering around this place like ninja trying to find my own space to just leave.
Then I was with a couple ladies as they talked to someone over the counter at some store in a mall to make me a custom dress. Then I was standing next to some guy who did comic book art and he was gonna have me model Rogue as a teenager. (Rogue part was kinda cool). And then I was driving somewhere and yeah .. weird.
And I woke up with I’ll Fall With Your Knife by Peter Murphy…. Jay sang that song to me when we first started dating…. wtf brain, this is kind of messed up.
Earlier today: Woke up from a nap.. more ex weirdness. I did find this almost cloth/canvas like gold and colorful crane and instead of throwing it away I packed it. I’ve toyed with the idea of folding 1000 paper cranes for a while, kinda got started but didn’t have anywhere to put them and didn’t have much time for it. I tossed some out and decided to start over on the cranes sometime later in the year after I moved.
There were other parts in the dream that were weird… my mom making some weird soup and addressing someone else as aboji “dad.” My parents have been married for 28 years.
Or driving over to a friend’s house in Tempe but asking the next door neighbors on the right if I can go through their gate to get to my friend’s yard instead of just knocking on the door to see if anyone is actually home.
And then getting to the yard, pulling some concrete piece out of the ground and seeing a narrow tunnel that goes down and then south towards the other yard.