Monthly Archives: September 2012

Last night I took my best friend and her fiance out to a club in Scottsdale for her birthday.  We got a table, danced, and it was all great until she filled herself up with more alcohol than she could handle in 3 hours and vomited (Sorry Mel).  Her fiance said I set up / did everything right but I really hope she’s been drinking lots of water so her hangover isn’t too bad. :/

Anyway, last night when I finally passed out I had a dream where I was at some house party, like large house party, and people were dressed like Forever 21 catalog failures, posing for photos excessively like it was the red carpet, not really talking to each other… other than some surface superficial acknowledgement in the hopes of gaining more attention and some semblance of adoration.

I ended up walking somewhere else and there was a friend of my ex’s, who doesn’t exist in real life but was very like someone we know [ worst traits x1000 ] and was trying to be on his side and was just kind of present.  My ex requested some item back and I said fine, I want the condoms and pulled the string of magnums from him, they were over his shoulder.  But shortly after he disappeared this mutual friend seemed somewhat courteous and then followed me to my car when I left.  He tried really hard to push himself onto me but I fought back and pulled out a gun.  There was another individual who came to deal with me but I was at a standstill with the first person and was then in the process of intimidating this new person.

After that I was sitting on a couch somewhere with my ex sitting on the floor under me, and I caressed his arms and was focused on being an emotional support, then he spoke and I can’t remember what he said but I just wanted him to gtfo.  And I knew where we were in each others lives at that point so I’m not sure why I sat there and tried to be a comfort with this knowledge.

Had a dream about some very whimsical sexual behavior with someone I’ve been with (but nothing actually happened in the dream.. wth) and then I’m laying over the blankets and I’m giving him a scalp massage and putting coconut oil in his hair while he talks about going somewhere else and getting a room and I start fading into sleep mode. And he’s laughing at me telling me to stay awake and I think he ordered a call girl for a threesome or someone was coming over. But it’s 8am so my alarm just went off and I’ll never know.

Since the last time I logged into this site… I forced myself into one major life change, but life decided to give me three.  I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years, then I found a place to move, and then I was fired from my job.  Strangely enough, I haven’t been in a state of absolute panic but I have been stressed out. I feel like I’m trying to keep pushing through without losing my sanity..

This was originally created with the intention to log dreams, and the last 72 hours has been full of some disturbing imagery for me, so lets continue:

Friday Sept 7th: Dream of yellow-green sediment colored octopus/squid thing wrapped around dead baby (only seen after octopus thing is shot in the water, near a pug, unravels itself and you see the last tentacles leave a bloody abdominal cavity as the body turns in said water) after reality goes off kilter and warps within the dream… I could take it as a bad omen.. I am taking it as a bad dream.

And right before that there was a line to enter a beach and ahead of me were two women in wedding dresses waiting to get married, waiting on their 2nd witness, and that part of the dream that freaked me out occurred in some smaller bit of water by a gate before making it to the beach, its hard to describe …

Saturday Sept 8th: Had a dream some really creepy bugs were around the bathroom vanity and tried spraying aquanet and lysol and stuff on them, failed, went out of the room and asked Jay to kill them but he refused. Then he decided to try and come upstairs and I said forget it and was holding onto the doorknob inside the bedroom while he tried to get in.

And this is part of what I hate about dreams, I realized I couldn’t hold a door shut he would try to pull open (and that’s backwards for most doors) and there was no lock in the door.

So he got in and I irately told him to gtfo and I already said forget it and to go to his room. He did and I kept wandering around this place like ninja trying to find my own space to just leave.

Then I was with a couple ladies as they talked to someone over the counter at some store in a mall to make me a custom dress. Then I was standing next to some guy who did comic book art and he was gonna have me model Rogue as a teenager. (Rogue part was kinda cool). And then I was driving somewhere and yeah .. weird.

And I woke up with I’ll Fall With Your Knife by Peter Murphy…. Jay sang that song to me when we first started dating…. wtf brain, this is kind of messed up.

Earlier today: Woke up from a nap.. more ex weirdness. I did find this almost cloth/canvas like gold and colorful crane and instead of throwing it away I packed it. I’ve toyed with the idea of folding 1000 paper cranes for a while, kinda got started but didn’t have anywhere to put them and didn’t have much time for it. I tossed some out and decided to start over on the cranes sometime later in the year after I moved.

There were other parts in the dream that were weird… my mom making some weird soup and addressing someone else as aboji “dad.” My parents have been married for 28 years.

Or driving over to a friend’s house in Tempe but asking the next door neighbors on the right if I can go through their gate to get to my friend’s yard instead of just knocking on the door to see if anyone is actually home.

And then getting to the yard, pulling some concrete piece out of the ground and seeing a narrow tunnel that goes down and then south towards the other yard.