There are a lot of dreams strung together, I can’t remember the beginning just the middle and end.
I was staying at a friend’s house near the beach for a while. We were going around town and ended up at the beach. It was really bright and the water was almost a green-blue. After the beach we went back to the house and it was really weird. I don’t remember a lot about this part of the dream, I remember going into the dining room and seeing this huge table with people I knew, James Bound and Shona and a few others. We were mostly being lazy laying around the house watching tv and being lazy. We ended up back at the beach the next day.
We dove off rocks and into the Atlantic ocean, I kept sinking deeper into the water regardless of how hard I tried to swim up. I opened my eyes surprised the salt wasn’t burning them and kept pushing water down with my arms, kicking really hard and started to see the sun’s reflection on the water.
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I swam my way to the top of the water and was holding onto tile in an indoor wave pull. My teacher was telling me to come over because class was ending. I was 1996 and even thought I was eight I remembered everything I’d done in my adult life and had a million things going through my head. Its like I could start over and do things the way I wanted to, learn whatever I wanted to. I started going over classes and skills I wanted to learn, how to cook, sew and design, dance, etc. I wondered where my boyfriend was if it was ’96 but realized he wouldn’t know who I was and the age difference would be weird now even thought it isn’t in the future I’d already lived.
I somehow ended up in this strange building going through floors and winding back at the elevators. Jay’s mom had found me and was telling me it was time to go. I kept trying to find people I knew now even though it was in the 90’s, trying to recognize them but I was looking for them as adults. I went downstairs and saw my friend Joy who ran up to give me a hug but James [one of our dads] grabbed my hand and said we were running late. I ended up in the back seat of a van with two parents and sitting next to Jay, he had long hair like Manson when he was still “& The Spooky Kids,” wearing eyeliner and black lipstick and looking aggravated. The time frame hadn’t changed but I was like 13 or 14 looking out the window and looking back to admire my angsty 17 year old version of my boyfriend.
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I looked into my closet and it was another room with a table. Jay and two other people were planning a tabletop RPG and seemed annoyed at me coming in to take a look at it. I decided to walk out of the closet room and go lay down.
I woke up in my old house next to my boyfriend and we were laying in bed talking about random stuff. It was facing towards the closet and wasn’t normal, it was like some pool / bed hybrid where we laid on these blankets that were floating but I could see little gold fishes swimming along the sides eating these little pink heart flakes. I watched them hurry until the leftovers strobed out and disappeared like a health item before you grabbed it in SNES. We decided it was time to clean up and go out and do something. By this time it was like we’d both just finished high school.
I went to the bathroom to wash off this mess from a sheet before throwing everything into the washing machine and downstairs I could hear my parents yelling. All I could think was I know whats going to happen and I don’t want to be here again. I’m tired of these bs cycles, mom is yelling at dad for something [I was putting together regarding some chick] and he was going to walk out or she was going to kick him out and then break down and cry and either I’m going to get yelled at or end up consoling her and he’ll end up back in the picture and I need to leave now. By this time I was picking off stickers on the vanity around the sink, they were letters that made really weird random sentences dad had stuck in and around the sink. I was back in my room packing my makeup telling Jay we need to get out of here now I don’t care where we’re going even if its to hide at his moms for a little bit and I really didn’t want to go there either because he didn’t get along with her.
We ended up leaving the house and was walking through a courtyard when we sat down on a bench. It was quiet and kind of hazy, like the sun was setting in the late afternoon. A few yards down I saw someone walking towards a truck and I just yelled “bye Phillip ” and he said “bye Crystal, bye Jay.” I knew Phillip from high school so it confused Jay- Phillip knew his name. I looked around and at a sign that was in English and then Chinese, it was some United Methodist church I thought I’d been to as a kid [but this place only resembles a Korean church in Tempe].
We were back in my room while he talked about how his friend was a jobless loser and how he’d never be so non-proactive with his life. I was looking out the window at a dirt field and the Phoenix Airport Marriott as I brushed fuchsia dye into my hair. It started freaking me out when it looked like a pattern of clovers instead of hair strands so I started brushing my hair back and they untangled back into locks of hair.